Holding on to the identity that we have narrated to ourselves- is rather obvious. Whenever we are put in the position of start over- there is a lot of friction which further reflects in the slowness of an organization at accepting change. We work our way up the ladder- if you are a scientist - go from junior to principal or become a Director etc. There is a trepidation to feeling like we have lost everything because of starting over. 

In the last few months, I have been exploring - detaching from identity - is the point of living. This is expressed beautifully by the poem "Advice from a caterpillar" written by Amy Gerstler. 

I have come to observe that the human problem with letting go is because the agency to discard an old story isn’t easy to access. For some, the mountain of previous success and reputation feels who they are. A specialist - would not want to become beginner again because one has subscription to the fact that "one is good/know what one is doing."
In my most recent pivot to a new career- I am learning to shed the heaviness of being successful and credible scientist. Replacing it with the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything.

 It has freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life- where I am finding myself learning and working harder than ever again. It has got me closer to the fact that I became a scientist because it provided me a space to make time to get lost in things that have no obvious utility to my life.

It’s hard to explain, but the things with no obvious utility often end up having the most utility of all. And I am at this moment in that spot. 

We often measure our worth using rigid metrics from the past—a certain title, a specific outcome, a linear path. But the probability of truly measuring richness in life shifts once the old metrics are no longer rigid. Too often, we argue that “my best years are behind me.” or "I am good at this, I will keep on doing this" (in this case without much hardcore love for it).  But sometimes,removing that rigidity, can lead to the later years that are the richest. Precisely because the measure of contribution transforms- the present becomes far larger than the story we have told ourselves. 

Shedding the past does not mean deleting it; it means changing your relationship with it. If one discards too much, apprehension arises as one risks loosing context. The fact that beginning here is allowing me to shed the legacy and weight of the scientist- it actually is bringing me closer to the reasons I became a scientist at the first place. Sometimes, the most obvious contributions come not from adhering to what we have learnt and trying to educate others on it- but by changing our own mind towards it and educating ourselves.

 

Somewhere in the streets of Zug, Switzerland.


Pri

https://world.hey.com/priyata