The Sacrament of Reconciliation (or penance or confession depending on your preference of titles) is a peculiar one for Catholics. You go into a small room with an ordained minister whom you may or may not know and share your sins.
While I don’t have empirical data, I imagine that most Catholics are quite uncomfortable with this practice. I mean, let’s be honest, who wants to say out loud something that you’re ashamed of or feel guilty about?
My dear friend, Fr. Dennis Berry, S.T. told me, years ago in an interview, that one of the keys to authentic spiritual life was that of “no secrets”. “You must have one person, a spiritual director most likely, with whom you will not hide your secrets.”
When this relationship exists, you no longer carry with you secrets. These may be feelings, sins or experiences that you hold quite close to your heart. These are the things that you would not want anyone else to know that exist inside you. Be very honest- you have them and so do I.
When we name these things, the darkness diminishes. What a beautiful and difficult concept.
The Quiet Life holds an appreciation for this kind of a practice. While many people post their issues on social media, those who want to go deeper find a holy mentor with whom they can share their life. You might get a few dozen likes or comments on Facebook to an issue that you post but how much better a single conversation with a holy mentor?
This also explains why spiritual direction (also known as spiritual mentorship) is so vital to a walk of holiness. It polishes the rough edges and gives space to not only name the secrets in our hearts but to discuss them.
Confession, complimented by spiritual direction is very, very powerful. I suspect each of the saints in heaven employed both with regularity.
Years ago, I knew I was “getting” what Fr. Dennis was teaching when I went to my spiritual director and, with excitement, shared a discovery from the past month. I had uncovered a secret, not something I was proud of or able to share with the world. Rather, I had uncovered a sin that had snuck up on me and turned me around. I figured I was “better” than that and only through reflection and conversation did I realize, to my amazement, that I was susceptible and had areas of vulnerability. Who knew!
It was oddly exhilarating to then discuss this topic and look at it from different angles. We were going deeper and while mildly uncomfortable, I could see the fruit of the process. My wise friend, whom I have met with for a decade, wasn’t surprised or disapproving. He simply asked me a few questions and offered what guidance he could.
That was enough.
Do you have a spiritual director? With whom can you share your secrets and struggles on a regular basis?
While I don’t have empirical data, I imagine that most Catholics are quite uncomfortable with this practice. I mean, let’s be honest, who wants to say out loud something that you’re ashamed of or feel guilty about?
My dear friend, Fr. Dennis Berry, S.T. told me, years ago in an interview, that one of the keys to authentic spiritual life was that of “no secrets”. “You must have one person, a spiritual director most likely, with whom you will not hide your secrets.”
When this relationship exists, you no longer carry with you secrets. These may be feelings, sins or experiences that you hold quite close to your heart. These are the things that you would not want anyone else to know that exist inside you. Be very honest- you have them and so do I.
When we name these things, the darkness diminishes. What a beautiful and difficult concept.
The Quiet Life holds an appreciation for this kind of a practice. While many people post their issues on social media, those who want to go deeper find a holy mentor with whom they can share their life. You might get a few dozen likes or comments on Facebook to an issue that you post but how much better a single conversation with a holy mentor?
This also explains why spiritual direction (also known as spiritual mentorship) is so vital to a walk of holiness. It polishes the rough edges and gives space to not only name the secrets in our hearts but to discuss them.
Confession, complimented by spiritual direction is very, very powerful. I suspect each of the saints in heaven employed both with regularity.
Years ago, I knew I was “getting” what Fr. Dennis was teaching when I went to my spiritual director and, with excitement, shared a discovery from the past month. I had uncovered a secret, not something I was proud of or able to share with the world. Rather, I had uncovered a sin that had snuck up on me and turned me around. I figured I was “better” than that and only through reflection and conversation did I realize, to my amazement, that I was susceptible and had areas of vulnerability. Who knew!
It was oddly exhilarating to then discuss this topic and look at it from different angles. We were going deeper and while mildly uncomfortable, I could see the fruit of the process. My wise friend, whom I have met with for a decade, wasn’t surprised or disapproving. He simply asked me a few questions and offered what guidance he could.
That was enough.
Do you have a spiritual director? With whom can you share your secrets and struggles on a regular basis?