Longtime readers know that I’m a BIG fan of spiritual direction as an aid to the spiritual life. I’ve had bad directors, so-so directors and excellent directors over the years.
My worst director, which only lasted a few months, was a fan of handouts. Mid-sentence, he would reach back and find a handout to address whatever we were discussing. Not helpful.
My best director has been with me for almost a decade. I’m deeply grateful for his perspective, charity and patience.
It struck me recently that another seldom-discussed reason for having a spiritual director is the discussion of sin. In the Catholic world, we tend to think that sin gets “taken care of” through the Sacrament of Reconciliation. And, to a degree, it does.
The only problem with that mindset is that sin can be routinized in many of our lives. We end up confessing the same thing month after month. And, with 2-10 minutes of “advice” within the confessional, it’s not realistic to expect the priest to offer sage direction in that time. He’ll do his best, for sure, but few priests are counselors.
Like a weed that puts roots deep into the ground, sin can go pretty deep as well. It takes effort and multiple tools in order to get it all out.
A spiritual direction experience is a complement to confession. It gives space to really go deep into why we are sinning, when we are drawn to sin and what it feels like to pick ourselves up afterwards. And, a healthy director-directee relationship will discuss sin quite comfortably.
Over time, the director won’t be surprised at all when you mention sin. And, even better, you will be cultivating a relationship unlike any other that can tackle the toughest things of life- woundedness, sin, hurt, betrayal, loneliness and so much more.
My worst director, which only lasted a few months, was a fan of handouts. Mid-sentence, he would reach back and find a handout to address whatever we were discussing. Not helpful.
My best director has been with me for almost a decade. I’m deeply grateful for his perspective, charity and patience.
It struck me recently that another seldom-discussed reason for having a spiritual director is the discussion of sin. In the Catholic world, we tend to think that sin gets “taken care of” through the Sacrament of Reconciliation. And, to a degree, it does.
The only problem with that mindset is that sin can be routinized in many of our lives. We end up confessing the same thing month after month. And, with 2-10 minutes of “advice” within the confessional, it’s not realistic to expect the priest to offer sage direction in that time. He’ll do his best, for sure, but few priests are counselors.
Like a weed that puts roots deep into the ground, sin can go pretty deep as well. It takes effort and multiple tools in order to get it all out.
A spiritual direction experience is a complement to confession. It gives space to really go deep into why we are sinning, when we are drawn to sin and what it feels like to pick ourselves up afterwards. And, a healthy director-directee relationship will discuss sin quite comfortably.
Over time, the director won’t be surprised at all when you mention sin. And, even better, you will be cultivating a relationship unlike any other that can tackle the toughest things of life- woundedness, sin, hurt, betrayal, loneliness and so much more.