Let's get one thing straight...nobody likes disappointing people. Somewhere out there right now is a satanist whose racquetball match is running long and is now behind schedule for a ritualistic goat slaughter and even they are like, "Ughhh" you know? Most of us are social creatures that genuinely want to please one another and that is why there's an entire economy built around learning how to say no.
I've never read one of those, How to Let Down Friends Without Being a Dick About it type of books but maybe I should because for far too long my modus operandi was to agree to something I'm not actually interested in doing, dread it and then either weasel out at the last second or go through with it just to say I did.
So you would think perhaps I might see it as a good thing that this past pandemic year provided an inconvenient out of nearly every in-person obligation, but it actually feels worse. Some of that may be because I live in a place (Vancouver) that's treating the pandemic very differently than the place that I'm from (Texas). Navigating the duality of those expectations hasn't been easy. I've already missed one Mexico wedding in which I was slated to be a groomsman and I've got another one on the way in a few months that has me refreshing the page for BC's vaccine rollout plan.
I also have a 13 month old son, a quarantini if you will, and the first year of his existence has been a lost one for my family that can't be here, something they accept, but are maybe not always 100% cool buddies about. The big kicker though is that my mother was diagnosed with a terminal illness during the last few months. Quarantine rules and travel restrictions being what they are, I've been unable to see her and the rest of my family for over a year.
The rules aren't designed to have loopholes for things like this and we're left to make impossible decisions.
I've never read one of those, How to Let Down Friends Without Being a Dick About it type of books but maybe I should because for far too long my modus operandi was to agree to something I'm not actually interested in doing, dread it and then either weasel out at the last second or go through with it just to say I did.
So you would think perhaps I might see it as a good thing that this past pandemic year provided an inconvenient out of nearly every in-person obligation, but it actually feels worse. Some of that may be because I live in a place (Vancouver) that's treating the pandemic very differently than the place that I'm from (Texas). Navigating the duality of those expectations hasn't been easy. I've already missed one Mexico wedding in which I was slated to be a groomsman and I've got another one on the way in a few months that has me refreshing the page for BC's vaccine rollout plan.
I also have a 13 month old son, a quarantini if you will, and the first year of his existence has been a lost one for my family that can't be here, something they accept, but are maybe not always 100% cool buddies about. The big kicker though is that my mother was diagnosed with a terminal illness during the last few months. Quarantine rules and travel restrictions being what they are, I've been unable to see her and the rest of my family for over a year.
The rules aren't designed to have loopholes for things like this and we're left to make impossible decisions.
- I can travel on my own and go without seeing my wife and son for not only the time that I'm gone, but for 2 weeks after I get back, leaving her to work and care for our son all on her own.
- They can travel along with me, but my wife would miss a bunch of income producing work when we're trying to save for a home and pay off our business. And upon our return we would have to isolate, first in a hotel, then at our 600 sq ft apartment. If we follow the letter of the law, we can't even go outside. Did I mention this would all have to happen with a 13 month old?
Oh and through all of that, we have to try to you know, not get COVID. And seeing as how Texas is the place that I need to go, I'll garner more respect trying to blast the virus away with a Beretta than wearing a mask to protect myself.
I've never been a fan of the "EFF YOU 2016!!!!" type year-blaming that's been pervasive in online culture over the last few years, but my guy 2020 over there seems to be badly overstaying his welcome and is now waiting on an autonomous Uber that his friend 2015 promised would be here, yet somehow still hasn't arrived to take him home.
Collectively speaking, there's been better years is all. And while we're here, let's get one more thing straight...when it comes to being impacted by the events of the last year, I'm nowhere near the top of the list of aggrieved parties. As of the time of this writing, nobody in my inner circle, nor I has been materially impacted by COVID. Now I wasn't "decided to become a wellness influencer out of nowhere" level of unaffected, but the next tier after that? You could probably pencil me into there.
So while I recognize that it could always be worse, we're all on our own journeys here. We're not suffering equally, but everyone has a version they're working through.
Alright then, what should the plan be? Well I've got a crazy hunch things will all work out. Because this time around I'm agreeing to things and I really want to do all of them. I just hope I don't have to weasel my way out at the last second. In the meantime, let's blast some viruses eh guys?
