bell hooks died last week. bell hooks played an extremely important role in my life in the years immediately after college, teaching me how to navigate the world as a loving, adult man.
She was also fundamental in helping Liz and I establish a shared conception of love and commitment. When I told Liz about b.h.’s passing, Liz said “she’s kind of responsible for bringing us together, huh?”. I agreed.
Then Liz said: “She’s the kind of person who will never really die, though, since her words are going to live on forever,” which I thought was a great way of thinking.
In that spirit, I wanted to share an quote from her book All About Love: New Visions.
I highly recommend that everyone find & read a copy of All About Love. I’ve reread it more times — and given away more copies — than any other book in my life. It continues to give me new wisdom and strength each time. I reread it earlier this year, and wrote about it here.
Okay, here’s the quote:
“Awaking to love can happen only as we let go of our obsession with power and domination. Culturally, all spheres of American life—politics, religion, the workplace, domestic households, intimate relations—should and could have as their foundation a love ethic. The underlying values of a culture and its ethics shape and inform the way we speak and act. A love ethic presupposes that everyone has the right to be free, to live fully and well. To bring a love ethic to every dimension of our lives, our society would need to embrace change. At the end of The Art of Loving, Erich Fromm affirms that “important and radical changes are necessary, if love is to become a social and not a highly individualistic, marginal phenomenon.” Individuals who choose to love can and do alter our lives in ways that honor the primacy of a love ethic. We do this by choosing to work with individuals we admire and respect; by committing to give our all to relationships; by embracing a global vision wherein we see our lives and our fate as intimately connected to those of everyone else on the planet.
Commitment to a love ethic transforms our lives by offering us a different set of values to live by. In large and small ways, we make choices based on a belief that honesty, openness, and personal integrity need to be expressed in public and private decisions. I chose to move to a small city so I could live in the same area as family even though it was not as culturally desirable as the place I left. Friends of mine live at home with aging parents, caring for them even though they have enough money to go elsewhere. Living by a love ethic we learn to value loyalty and a commitment to sustained bonds over material advancement. While careers and making money remain important agendas, they never take precedence over valuing and nurturing human life and well-being.
I know no one who has embraced a love ethic whose life has not become joyous and more fulfilling.”
Excerpt From
All About Love
bell hooks
She was also fundamental in helping Liz and I establish a shared conception of love and commitment. When I told Liz about b.h.’s passing, Liz said “she’s kind of responsible for bringing us together, huh?”. I agreed.
Then Liz said: “She’s the kind of person who will never really die, though, since her words are going to live on forever,” which I thought was a great way of thinking.
In that spirit, I wanted to share an quote from her book All About Love: New Visions.
I highly recommend that everyone find & read a copy of All About Love. I’ve reread it more times — and given away more copies — than any other book in my life. It continues to give me new wisdom and strength each time. I reread it earlier this year, and wrote about it here.
Okay, here’s the quote:
“Awaking to love can happen only as we let go of our obsession with power and domination. Culturally, all spheres of American life—politics, religion, the workplace, domestic households, intimate relations—should and could have as their foundation a love ethic. The underlying values of a culture and its ethics shape and inform the way we speak and act. A love ethic presupposes that everyone has the right to be free, to live fully and well. To bring a love ethic to every dimension of our lives, our society would need to embrace change. At the end of The Art of Loving, Erich Fromm affirms that “important and radical changes are necessary, if love is to become a social and not a highly individualistic, marginal phenomenon.” Individuals who choose to love can and do alter our lives in ways that honor the primacy of a love ethic. We do this by choosing to work with individuals we admire and respect; by committing to give our all to relationships; by embracing a global vision wherein we see our lives and our fate as intimately connected to those of everyone else on the planet.
Commitment to a love ethic transforms our lives by offering us a different set of values to live by. In large and small ways, we make choices based on a belief that honesty, openness, and personal integrity need to be expressed in public and private decisions. I chose to move to a small city so I could live in the same area as family even though it was not as culturally desirable as the place I left. Friends of mine live at home with aging parents, caring for them even though they have enough money to go elsewhere. Living by a love ethic we learn to value loyalty and a commitment to sustained bonds over material advancement. While careers and making money remain important agendas, they never take precedence over valuing and nurturing human life and well-being.
I know no one who has embraced a love ethic whose life has not become joyous and more fulfilling.”
Excerpt From
All About Love
bell hooks