My mind has been in flux the past few days, maybe weeks. Maybe not flux, but slow shutdown. I'm in that phase where I switch all my interests. This happens to me pretty often, it's why I swear I have ADHD, or maybe it's a symptom of PTSD. I'm not really sure. 

I need to find some sort of higher purpose in life, but it's never there. I want to feel fulfilled in some way, I want the feeling and pride I had as a soldier, but it's gone, it's been lost for over two decades now. Furthermore, I don't know how to get it back. What to do?