As I am spending my last days in Vienna, I use every opportunity to soak in its summer beauty one more time. I spend a lot of time in cafés reading, in bars drinking, in museums embracing. I am present, I live in the moment and enjoy with a deep sense of appreciation. In these moments I don't need anything. All desires are gone, and with that, the self-loathing question that accompanies all ambition: Am I good enough?

My first instinct, the head, tells me yes. Not to brag or anything, but obviously!

My second instinct, the heart, is more hesitant. Am I? There's all those things I haven't done yet, all those things I wanna do.

In moments of absolute appreciation of where I am, my ambitions feel far away. In these most peaceful times, the mind is quiet. In that state, everything feels perfect. The greek stoics would call it "the deepest happiness of wanting nothing", and say that "desire is the opposite of peace".
But sometimes, I do! I do desire. The ambitions, they are here. They are real, and it would contradict myself to be pushing that fact away. Ambition is part of who I am. It is the fuel to envision the future I want to live in. To create it. To make it…

Ambition requires to live in the future, to desire the state you're not in yet. Staying in that detached state of mind for long can have the side effect of having to ask yourself if you are good enough. When staying in that detached state of mind for too long, the answer becomes no.

One thing is for sure, we are good enough. In times of presence, and times of ambition.

I am writing this down so I have it present when I need it. I will need it, but for now—with a pleasant focus on the present—I am returning to the stoics and follow their advice to “dwell on the beauty of life, watch the stars, and see ourselves running with them.”