When you sent me into handcuffs and imprisonment, taking away my life, time, and humanity for an indefinite period,
with no understanding of your actions nor true remorse... nor responsibility just excuses...
When you self-righteously told me, over and over, how you knew my interests & needs better than I did myself, such that I truly had no voice —
and the incompetent Taco Bell-level healthcare workers who have themselves been in and out of jail and vent their frustrations of their jobs and lives by forcing the "patients" to just SIT DOWN RIGHT NOW in those horrible chairs of blood feces urine and horse-tranquilizer forced and required inside you to sleep... six days straight...
When they took away my one right to make phone calls and all I had was their rulebook and a purple crayon
and the wristband with my inmate ID
the Auschwitz hell of confinement I fortunately had the courage and pride and strength to escape
it truly broke within me many misconceptions and over-kindnesses I had previously been living.
You will never know the full extent of what you have done to me, on your couch watching TV with your newest bf instead of speaking and spending time face to face, truly showing your priorities, care, trust, support by being with me instead of against me.
You will never know how much the handcuffs of aggressive and non-responsive police bit into my heart and soul and sealed away my one remaining blood family member.
But you will know what I will say and do, henceforth, because I believe people deserve better.
They deserve clear and appropriately-scoped communication in advance of disempowerment by force.
and i will never harm you as you have harmed me.
I do, however, now have the right to legal self-defense, civilly pursued, in anticipation of your demonstrated ability to compel me by violence of the State to "listen to your feelings"
I hereby declare you shall NOT make any attempt to contact me, until I state I am ready to re-open a channel from you to me.
Email with 1) remorseful statements and 2) emergency, only.
I will not listen to your feelings until I am ready in the future, and I hope I can recover quickly.
But honestly I think my capacity to listen was destroyed in that awful awful place and I will henceforth cleave to the cold hard facts of objective reality.
at least when it comes to you and me.
I truly wish you the best and hope you can heal from whatever inside of you creates this laziness, hostility, inability to trust, social anxiety, and misdirected set of actions and beliefs against those you claim to love.
