Last Thursday June 12, Alex announced his acquisition for $30B by Zuck. Many college friends and former colleagues instantly became liquid with $5M+ cash dropping into their bank accounts. Huge congrats all around!!!

Five million dollars is an insane amount of money for an individual to receive. I started watching Beast Games after learning Jimmy suffers from Crohn's disease. First prize on that show is $5+ million, and it's the largest in TV history. Even with $100 bills instead of singles like above, the cash piles would weigh more than your dogs and be taller than your house. You'd still literally need a forklift to move it all around.

As employee ~83 who joined Scale in July 2019—then was promoted to new responsibilities in September and again in January 2020 after creating a few success stories—I easily could have been one of them too. But, alas, I quit prior to vesting any stock and ultimately chose funemployment instead.

At the time, I did not appreciate the rarity of being a sub-100 employee on a rocket ship. I got in without even being screened directly by Alex (thanks to Steven and Lemur for vouching)! But I didn't yet have the experience or mentorship or mental models to understand how I could have properly maximized the opportunity.

In hindsight, I should have waited at least 3 months to vest and receive some of my package. I should have patiently navigated myself into leadership roles. But I don't regret my choice. Sure, I'll make jokes about shooting my foot into relative poverty forever, and I've certainly changed a lot since then. I might do things differently today. But I've never really looked back negatively at that moment itself, and I probably never will.

Around the time I departed, I reflected on work and my transition:

Shortly after leaving Scale covid lockdowns happened, and I took the Giving What We Can pledge.

Since that year, funnily enough, I've spent and lost more money than I've generated. My bank account today stands at $0 with credit card bills due. The safety net I inherited from my mom's death, which helped pay for my 3 expensive years of college, continues to dwindle. And I can't touch the $100k stashed away in my own Roth IRA.

I'm grateful for what I have, which is so much more than many other people on this planet. I'm debt-free. I'm free, period... But I don't own a house, my recent car lease eats into my monthly budget, the trend line is negative and my runway is decreasing, friends are becoming deca-millionaires or have $300k/yr salaries, and I'm turning 30 in half a year! Even so, going through various job interviews in the past couple months, I've felt less and less motivated for each role the further we progressed in the process.

In the worst case, I can and will get a job. But for now, I still feel abundant. Although I'm constantly comparing myself to peers, the comparison manifests for me as almost purely intellectual and impersonal, like rating sushi restaurants or something. An ongoing discussion of Hiro vs Shinbay does not meaningfully impact my self-esteem or day-to-day priorities.

I almost wish I felt a bit more desperate. Simon Sinek eloquently tells us that this is the root of progress, for one's goals and dreams to be significantly bigger than their currently available resources. To want to fail. When I quit Scale, I was 24 and my ambition far outpaced my position. I wanted more ownership than 0.02%. And although my eventual path and associated dollar outcome failed to match that benchmark, there are other ways of seeing success too.

Today I own over 40% of a profitable business that's done 7-figures of revenue. Although it's the same order of magnitude, my shares are not yet liquid and my Scale stock would be worth at least double those today. Our company's bank account is not terribly large and roughly stays level, after we pay ourselves modest monthly salaries and reinvest extra cash into new projects.

I'll probably stop posting about money specifics at some point, since it can be foolish to broadcast these things too loudly. I hope 5 years down the line, I'm $5M+ richer instead of poorer. But I now deeply understand that with great responsibility comes great risk...

I don't currently have a ton of money or assets. Our small business is surviving but not thriving. It's very tempting to re-enter the world of startup employment and exponential growth. To try picking a winner and praying for another once-in-a-lifetime Scale-sized lottery ticket.

Many in my position would be happy to close their 5-year entrepreneurial chapter with a mild success and many interesting stories. I've personally been wrestling with this for the past six months and change. But at least for now, I don't think I can "quit" on this path yet.

I'm doubling down on the $5M choice I made 5 years ago, to level up and bet on myself. I hope to be a better boss for me than anyone else could. Alex Wang set high standards of fractal quality, but I'm excited to keep raising the bar, putting my customers first, and asking "why not faster?"