What’s the longest you’ve sat listening to someone you can’t stand or completely disagree with?

The hardest thing I do is to listen without the expectation to speak - especially when I don’t like what I hear.

It’s like digging a well. It takes a ton of work, with little to show for it initially. It’s easy to give up and abandon the dog. But when it feels unlikely, water starts to emerge. That’s where it all starts - a small pool of progress.

Anger and frustration trigger curious reactions. Intuitively the first response should be to discuss the details - and they matter! - but the best approach is often to “hear them out.” 

The line between compassion and pacification is thin. “Being heard” can satisfy both. (Maybe “pacification” is the wrong word, but I hope the intent is clear.)

I don’t always handle this well. But, a motto that gets me to focus on the right thing is “understanding does not require acceptance.” 

Patience creates space to listen, which can make space for compassion.