We can all do it. In our own time. At our own pace. In our own way. It doesn’t matter what we say. As long as we say it in our own voice. From a place of truth. Because we speak the speech we are meant to say, at the time we’re meant to say it. The journey becomes not what to say and not when to say it. But… To say it in your way.

“Hope is a dangerous thing.” So is doubt… The ‘worst-case’ scenario is guaranteed to be the most improbable, as is the ‘best-case’… Hope and doubt are the evil twins - equivalent opposites. And both tear me away from the reality of what I can control. Hope lets go of responsibility and makes the outcome critically important. Hope puts ...

A storm from a distance… Unread words in a book… Ingredients in a pantry… Bike in the garage… A camera on the counter… Wine in a sealed bottle… Extra money in the bank… Fresh coffee beans in the pantry… A blank sheet of paper and a pen… Years of life… … are an opportunity ƒor a great experience. But only if I… Walk into it… Read it… Ex...

Not great. Not bad. Not ideal. Not remarkable. Not notable. Not believable or unbelievable. Not worth mentioning. Not worth remembering. Not five stars. Not four. Just… Expected. Predictable. Satisfactory. Realistic. Iterative. Incremental. Consistent. Certain. Comfortable. Ok.

I don’t gush over much, but there are those people I can’t help but get excited to meet. Most recently, I ran into an idol of mine. Names aren’t important. The last thing I would expect today was to have such a chance encounter with such a person in a small coffee shop in Southern Oregon; but it happened. It was brief. Maybe a total of...

Are you there now? Is it a place you find peace? Would you invite others over? If not, why? If so, why? Does it move or do you? Can it tell me something about you that you can’t put into words? Can it explain something about you that you don’t want to put into words? Who is always welcome? And who will never be? Have you ever felt like...

The kids are in a stage where they want either one of us - or both of us - most of their waking hours. It’s hard to create space for ourselves. From sun up to sun down, we are in need. Most self-help books remind us that time is a non-renewable resource. We have a limited and unknown amount. So, it’s hard to feel like I’ve lost control...

What’s the longest you’ve sat listening to someone you can’t stand or completely disagree with? The hardest thing I do is to listen without the expectation to speak - especially when I don’t like what I hear. It’s like digging a well. It takes a ton of work, with little to show for it initially. It’s easy to give up and abandon the dog...

I’m there. That point when I can’t find the words to keep writing, and the drive starts to wane. What now? Not sure. It's scary but relatable. During my three years building up to the Ironman triathlon, there were so many weeks where I lost my motivation and consistency suffered. One day off led to another, and another. And before I kn...

In grade school, there was an undeveloped plot of land the neighborhood kids, and I would explore. Blackberry bushes with the longest, sharpest thorns overtook concrete foundations and abandoned scrap wood. I vividly recall finding a split piece of wood with the shape of a sword that we would use to chop a tunnel into the thorny bushes...

I can’t finish without starting. I can’t learn without trying. I can’t get an answer to a question I don’t ask. I can’t reach a limit I don’t attempt to exceed. I can’t be part of a group I don’t join. I can’t start a new chapter if I don’t end the last. I can’t understand something without exploring its edges. I can’t be helpful if I ...

During every significant point of growth, I’ve had a mentor. I find mentors from all sorts of places. They don’t even need to be alive. In many ways, stoicism is the practice of mentorship through the contemplations of people who have died long ago. I can also find mentorship from people who don’t realize it (book authors, relatives, f...

I spent the entire day enjoying beautiful things... An extra couple of hours of sleep after a rough night. Fluffy pancakes for breakfast. The cool breeze through the front door at my parent's house. The sound of ocean waves against the breeze rustling through the trees. My mom's tired but gentle eyes. My pop’s laughter from his joke. S...

When is the last time you took a moment to rest? I don’t mean a moment to sleep, not a moment to wait for someone or something else to happen, but to rest: a moment when patience, presence, and opportunity come together. A time to embrace the silence and breathe. Because if that’s all it takes, rest can take the short space between a b...

Yesterday, I finished Oregon Ironman 70.3. Also known as a half Ironman, it’s a triathlon with a 1.2-mile swim, 56-mile bike ride, and 13.1-mile run (70.3 miles total). It’s tough. Let me tell you… The night before, the front tire was flat, so I changed it. It’s not easy. If it happened during the race, I was going to drop out. Guess w...

Marriage isn’t the hard part. Don’t get me wrong, there are parts of our life that get hard, but being married isn’t it… Getting over myself long enough to be present and listen is hard. Taking a moment to celebrate the good times and the bad is hard. Letting her hold me accountable to my highest standard is hard. Being a vulnerable pa...

Life isn't black and white; we live in the gray. Not too long ago, I was lamenting my lack of physical flexibility to my trainer: I wish this... I want that... If I could only do this... If I could only do that... He was a football player through college and cast a warning, "If your body is too rigid, you can't absorb a hit, and you ca...

Is there a point where conditions emerge? Conversely, is there ever a time when "under no circumstances" will I change my opinion? There's a bar - it may be high or low, but it's there. I love my kids unconditionally. I love my wife unconditionally. I love my parents unconditionally. But... Could I be the parent of the next Adolf Hitle...

I wrote a post yesterday that dissolved into the techno-verse before I could publish it. First thought: Nooooo! It wasn’t awesome to spend time writing something I was proud of to be gone instantly. But, it was a great exercise in acceptance. Anything can be gone in a minute. Every ounce of hard work can disappear without notice. But t...

Waiting for anything exciting is not easy. Even when success is guaranteed, it’s so hard to be patient. On the one hand, waiting is boring. What am I going to do in the meantime? Why can’t waiting be more exciting and engaging? I recognize that patience is a sign of progress, but I always feel like those two are in opposition. How am I...

I see regret as “I knew it at the time, and wish I did it differently” against, “now that I know what I know, I would do it differently next time.” The first is a violation of integrity, and the second is the result of learning. I learn a lot! And I’m not immune to regret. I often regret going against my intuition to avoid a hard choic...

I'm not one to trust a practice without solid evidence of success. So, I find ritual to be fascinating. For starters, I notice a chicken/egg issue. Many ritualistic practices require "test then assess." If I don't perform the ritual, how would I see a result in the first place? I can't fully cast aside the ritual until I complete the r...

My wife had a book I've been waiting to read for a long time: The ONE Thing by Gary W. Keller and Jay Papasan. If you've read (or heard of) Essentialism by Greg McKeown, then you need to pick up this book; it's by #1 book recommendation. At its core, The ONE Thing is about investing all your effort into a few "lead dominos," where by d...

New habits are hard to create. For me, the biggest hurdle is the setup. If it takes more than a few moments to start a new habit, I’m done. Though I workout a lot, I’m not a morning person. I love the idea of diving into my day with an early morning run, but when I get up, that’s the last thing I want to do. However, I don’t regret it ...

You can believe anything. But, anything, conversely, is nothing. A black hole is the darkest object in the universe. It's ironic how it gets that way by absorbing the most light. Said another way, it cannot exist without the other. So, to believe in anything is the same as to believe in nothing. But to believe in nothing means you beli...

I’ve eaten food I know doesn’t make me bigger, stronger or faster. I’ve not had the water that helps my digestion, immune system and hormone levels. I’ve not done any physical activity to balance my blood sugar, build strength and feel more capable. I can be better. So… Be better.

At the other side of almost.

What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you see tears in another’s eyes? For me, it’s a pain. You? I know the tears can come about for one of many reasons. Even I’ve cried tears of joy. I recall one particular moment when I was a kid. It was Christmas, and I was in middle school. It was the early days of CDROMs, and I had just b...

As I’ve become a dad to two, I can’t avoid the overwhelming feeling of wanting to be enough for them. One of my favorite films is “I am Sam.” The main character (Sam) has a learning disability which stunts his book knowledge to about seven years old. He becomes a dad to a little girl who, as she ages past seven, becomes much more intel...

“I suck at this” doesn’t help. “I can’t do this” doesn’t help. “I’m not meant for this” doesn’t help. “I’ve tried everything” doesn’t help. “It’s easy for other people, but not for me” doesn’t help. There are plenty of excuses and plenty of reasons. But... In truth, no one was born with a conscious ability to do anything. Timeless pain...