You've heard it before—most men live quiet lives of desperation.
These men know they can't access meaning—they might in a job they don't like, they might be depressed, or find life to be pointless. Their main objective is happiness.
The reason you struggle with finding meaning is because our modern, decadent, culture is infected with a disease.
It goes by the name of Nihilism.
In our Nihilistic era—cheap stimulation, and constant distraction reigns supreme as the methods to push away the unbearable existential crisis of meaning we face.
In fact, the average attention span of a human being is now shorter than your average goldfish
Here's what a day in the life of a modern man caught in this meaning crisis looks like:
You dread waking up in the morning, and hit snooze repeatedly—until you reach over for your phone and start scrolling.
You get in your car and commute to work, plug your headphones in and consume content for the sake of consumption
You go work a job that drains you more than it fills you with purpose and meaning, while secretly resenting teenage youtubers making more money than you ever will
Your boss, who is in their early 30s, comes around and gives you orders. You put on a fake smile and go along to get along. Yet secretly, you resent the little fu*ker for being 10 years younger than you and making twice your salary.
You attend pointless meetings where you can't say what you actually think, so you stay quiet counting down the time until you can leave
6pm rolls around, and you're now stuck in rushover traffic on your way home. Solution? Consume more content.
You finally get home, say hi to your kids and wife, sit down in front of your TV and disconnect through more consumption.
You eat sh*tty food and are partially lost in thought, not present with your family, and barely connect with them.
Your wife and kids go to bed, but you stay up.
You doomscroll for a few hours
You turn on p*rnhub and masturbate
Rinse and repeat.
The way around this dreadful existence is Self Actualization
An abstract term that refers to knowing yourself clearly by becoming who you are
The notable Swiss Psychologist, Carl Jung, referred to Self Actualization as the privilege of a lifetime.
It is through this process of attaining clear Self knowledge of yourself that you will manifest your full potential
The ancient Athenians understood the significance of Self Actualization
Socrates himself on his own Quest for Truth invited the younger generation to question and to self scrutinze themselves as a way to not only grow by overcoming our own self-deceptions, but as a vehicle of uncovering wisdom
And through that gained wisdom, and new perspective—meaning arose.
Meaning will carry you through the storms of life—happiness will not.
Self Actualization is really a process of becoming whole—of integrating the fragmented aspect of your psyche
We have been highly conditioned and programmed by society, culture, our individual families, peer groups, and so on.
Most of us have no clue who we actually are. A thought that grows in terror the longer you sit with it.
This results in people believing lies about themselves and being totally unaware of the dark and dense shadow lurking underneath the surface of their psyche.
This concept of self scrutinizing, and self overcoming the lies and bullsh*t we believe about ourselves was diluted out of culture, and replaced with—lies and bullsh*t.
Therefore, the onus is now on the individual to cultivate what ancient cultures once helped the individual cultivate.
As Carl Jung puts it: "if you don't tell the world who you are, the world will tell you"
Self Actualization is how you tell the world who you are.
Here's what the psychoanalyst, James Hollis, suggests as a starting point:
Remember the loss of the fathers. Admit and understand the faults of those who came before as a way to gain a clear perspective of what you've inherited between generations—of what's been put inside of you that you yourself are unaware of.
Admit the truth. Admitting your deepest truths to yourself is the first task. Living that truth is the second task. Telling others is the third. This form of truth telling is the supreme test of our lives.
Seek mentors and mentor others. Find mentors and brotherhood. A mentor may be found in a therapist, a men’s group, a coach, etc.
Love. Men are suspicious of each other. We have been conditioned to be competitive, and guarded. The key here is to learn to love yourself. Then, learn to love your nieghbor as yourself.
Heal thyself. Integrating these forgotten, or unknown aspects of yourself is in essence—a healing journey from fragmented to whole. Having your personal father to model this can be a source of tremendous self empowerment. For those less fortunate—you will need to do it on your own. Refer to Step 3 for support.
Recovering the soul's journey. Most people are hesitant to examine their own lives because it implies change. And with change comes anxiety, and often—pain. But, what's the alternative? Depression and rage, followed by regret, and a sense of suffocation from the life you've created for yourself? The pain change brings is equivalent to the pain you feel when you apply an antiseptic to an infected wound. Yeah, it might sting a little, but what happens if you don't treat the wound? Leave it like that long enough and you might need to amputate the limb. . .
Join the revolution. When men begin to take total self responsibility for all the ways in which they deceive themselves, and start to examine their shadow, and begin improving their lives—millennia-old dysfunctional patterns lose their grip on you. This becomes a powerful form of service to society.
Love and Power, Alex
About Alex Padron
The purpose of this blog is to help empower all of us. This is a place where I'll share what I'm up to, stories, and insights. I hope you enjoy!
