Integrity is an invitation to live an authentic life
One that is in alignment with a higher calling.
Why is this important? The root cause of your inability to find meaning and purpose stems from being out of integrity with your true nature.
Not only that, but the psychological suffering you experience can be traced back to being out of integrity.
What can be more important in your life than finding meaning, purpose, and overcoming suffering?
What does integrity mean, exactly?
The word integrity stems from the latin: integer, meaning whole and undivided.
In regards to our lives, integrity refers to living in alignment on a physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual level.
To being whole and undivided within ourselves.
To being whole and undivided within ourselves.
Integrity is knowing what you know, saying what you think, feeling what you feel, and acting in accordance with what you think.
Integrity is living in alignment with your deepest truths.
More practically, integrity is not lying.
The problem of integrity is one humanity has wrestled with throughout its entire existence. We see the notion of integrity being reflected in ancient myths and stories.
Today's post will use insights from The Way of Integrity by Martha Beck, and Dante's Divine Comedy—an allegory for living an authentic life.
Dante's story begins with him being middle-aged, lost in a dark forest. Uncertain of how he got here, and where the path ahead is leading, Dante finds himself lost with no direction.
And with no purpose.
Being lost in the dark forest is a metaphor for being out of integrity
When we're lost in our own dark forest, it means we've walked a path through life that isn’t ours to walk.
Maybe you ended up here out of obligation, and expectation to figures of authority.
Your parents might have expected you to go to medical school, or to become a lawyer.
Or maybe all the distractions around you drowned the silent call of your inner wisdom.
Now, you find yourself working a high stress job your soul hates.
Welcome to the dark forest.
But, I don’t need to introduce you to it do I? You’re likely familiar with it already. I know I've found myself here on many occasions throughout my own journey.
And if you’re not familiar, here are some signs you’re lost in the same dark forest Dante found himself centuries ago.
Dark Forest Symptom 1: You Feel Purposeless
Is what you do for a living meaningful?
Do you feel your life is on purpose?
Is there someone else’s voice in your head you really need to get rid of?
Are you stuck in the productivity and achievement rat race?
You're not alone. With penetrating insights, the philosophical titan, Friedrich Nietzsche, predicated a storm would fall upon mankind. The putrid storm of nihilism.
We’re amidst the downfall from this storm now. Look no further than the meaning and opioid crisis across western culture.
One of Nietzsche’s most famous ideas was a thought experiment called the eternal recurrence.
If you had to live every moment of your life over and over again, the good and the bad, for eternity, would you agree to such a life?
Your answer to this question is a litmus test to your ability to not just affirm life, but embrace it— to love it.
This thought experiment is a test of your ability to create meaning amidst the suffering your life contains.
“To live is to suffer, to survive is to find meaning in the suffering.” — Nietzsche
Dark Forest Symptom 2: You Feel Disconnected and Lonely
If you feel disconnected and lonely, you are most certainly lost in the dark forest.
And out of integrity.
Sometimes disconnection shows up as substance addictions to alcohol, drugs, overworking, overspending, etc. We sometimes use drugs to numb ourselves from the uncomfortable feelings we avoid feeling.
Paradoxically, what we like most about some of these drugs isn’t the actual effect of the drug. Instead, it’s the fact that they quiet the thinking mind, and allow us to connect to a spiritual source we’re disconnected from in daily living.
The origins of this disconnection always comes back to being out of integrity with our true nature.
Dark Forest Symptom 3: Physical Deterioration Of The Body
The health of our mental well-being reflects the health of our bodies.
Being in integrity means aligning with the truth of all of our meaning making systems: the body, heart, mind, and spirit (in that order).
Despite what our culture values, notice how mind doesn't come first in that list.
The truth is an embodied experience. And your body is a finely tuned truth detector.
Your body is more sensitive to what’s right for your whole being than your mind ever could be.
Your body is more sensitive to what’s right for your whole being than your mind ever could be.
For instance, your mind can process roughly 40 bits of information per second. Your body: roughly 11 million bits of information per second.
Yet, in our intellectually-obsessed culture, we ignore the wisdom of our bodies. Our bodies are nothing more than what we use to take our minds to different conference rooms for meetings.
Are you neglecting your physical well-being? If you are physically weak, prone to injury, or sick your body might be trying to tell you you’re out of integrity.
Dark Forest Symptom 4: Consistent Relationship Failure
When relationships start from the dark forest, both parties are out of integrity. The chances of a relationship formed in the dark forest succeeding are exceptionally low.
That is, unless both parties find integrity and emerge out of the forest together.
Relationships in the dark forest are often shallow, or toxic, or both.
If you feel constantly drained or betrayed in your relationship, it might be because it’s based in the dark forest.
If you don’t walk your true path, you don’t find your true people.
The path to true love, true anything, is the way of integrity.
Dark Forest Symptom 5: Bad Habits You Can’t Break
hard to break habits, to name a few, can come in the form of:
- eating junk food
- over eating
- over drinking
- a bad smoking habit
- telling big or small lies
- pornography addiction
If you’ve tried to stop bad habits, but have consistently failed you are likely out of integrity.
Here’s the good news. Becoming awake to the fact that you are out of integrity is the first step to regaining integrity.
Your Turn
Being in integrity helps you find your true path in life, one filled with meaning and purpose.
The first step to getting into integrity is becoming awake to the fact that you are out of integrity. Either in your entire life, or in parts of it.
To get back into integrity: tell the truth about how lost you are in your own personal dark forest.
Sit down somewhere quiet, reflect, and write about what comes to mind given what you've read. What truths do you need to admit to yourself about yourself? About your life? How long have you been in your personal dark forest?
Luckily for us, our deepest truths often resonate with smaller, simpler truths. Often these are truths we don’t want to admit about our lives, or about difficult situations in our lives.
But, is avoiding this really serving you, or is it keeping you stuck in fear—hiding from others, and from yourself in your own dark forest?
The moment you admit to yourself the truth about the situation you’re in, your body will react.
Pay attention to this reaction.
You’ll know when you’re in integrity, because relaxation is your bodies instinctive response to speaking the truth.
This is the first step to regaining integrity, and leaving your personal dark forest.
Love and Power,
Alex