we wanted to meet, it was scheduled, but i screwed up, so we never met {103}

She didn’t tolerate my untoward behavior.

It was untoward (🗣 un-TOH-erd) because it was unruly, unfavorable, improper, or simply disruptive.

202212252350 🔵 we wanted to meet, it was scheduled, but i screwed up, so we never met {10.jpg

What had I done?

We had scheduled to meet last Saturday, and I was EXTREMLY looking forward to see you.

But around 8.24pm, on Tuesday, I had the grandiose idea to take a jog, pay a visit to her house (as a surprise) and throw snowballs against her window to get her attention. That was at 8.50pm, and I threw gently. I only wanted to tell her that my Airbnb is only a 26-minute jog away from her house, and I wanted to tell her in person. It was innocent act of sharing good news with her.

The result was that she never wants to see me again because of my behavior, and she felt threatened because of what I did; her being in shock.

Of course, of course, of course, that was entirely NOT what I had intended to achieve.

In my mind, she would notice the snow on her window, go downstairs, smile me at me, and ask me politely and friendly why I came to her house, to which I would reply, “just wanted to tell you that our houses are really close. It took me less then half an hour to run you” (with a Japanese Anime smile on my face), and because I knew her house was my final destination I was trying to run fast to be with her sooner.

The reality was different from my mental cinema pictures.

And now I lost her as a friend as well.

What’s left?

(to be continued after a short break)

ℹ

It was 11.51 p.m. Eastern, here in the State of New York when I started writing to you the {Sunday Truth 103}.

On Dec 25th, 2022 with -7 degrees Celsius (-6 degree colder compared to last week when I was already here)

hi, i’m building my dream Voiceover YouTube channel as a milestone to my dream storytelling company, Susé Patrola. when done, i’ll move to singapore.

🥥 making money with voiceover is the only 1 thing i care about right now uga uga🐒

ℹ

(back again)

What is left is my HOPE that, within the next 3 weeks that I’ll be here, she will initiate a conversation and invite me to talk.

Right now, even though seeing her was the only single sole reason I came here for, just a conversation with her on the phone would make me feel grateful.

However, returning to Berlin without her sight would be the saddest thing I can imagine right now, and it would be on me who was responsible for that. I deeply regret my action.

I’m done.

I don’t feel like writing more.

But let me at least share the ads I posted this week because I got back on track, which is nice, and I started to develop a ping-pong habit with a friend of my Airbnb host, which is a very welcome distraction… next to watching Parks and Recreation (2009), which allows me to have moments of not thinking about her before going to bed.

Anyway, the ads I produced this week:

Sunday, December 25

🇺🇸 Ad 39: Human Chair

🇩🇪 Ad 39: MenChair