Originally posted 2019-03-11 During my nine months of intense character-refining with 10 others near University of Michigan, I was shown many things about myself. One is that I have a terrible habit of interrupting people. Sometimes it's malicious: I don't like what someone is saying, and I want to cut them off, correct them, or in som...

Originally posted 2019-03-08 I've always been a messy goodbye-sayer. Dormitories where I hung my hammock, trailer homes that shook with the morning stroll, a basement bedroom next to an overly active washing machine...sure, I'm a lover of places. But of course, the pain of leaving is evoked by my torn heart strings wound around those l...

Originally posted 2019-03-06 I remember being less than half my age, driving with the family in my stepdad's pristine car--and when I say pristine, I mean the full extent of that word. We were going somewhere to do something, the details are long forgotten. But not the moment we arrived at our destination. Somewhere near the backseat, ...

Originally posted 2019-03-04 I've been dragging my feet to write this post, because I don't know how. It's like the most important part. My friends are fans of the hypothetical. I've been asked the following question several times, but I've only recently found my satisfying answer. The question is: what would you be like and what would...

Originally posted 2019-03-01 I thought it was a waste of time. I didn't say that with my mouth, but I said it just as clearly with my face and posture. It was a school-wide program and I was apparently the only one that hadn't been properly initiated through a two-day-download of information. And so, with a very reluctant set of sub pl...

Originally posted 2019-02-27 I remember sitting in her office, probably for the thousandth time. I was talking about how I wanted to be, who I wanted to be. The loving mentor didn't seem to get what I was describing. Pointing through the library window, I pointed to her. "That's how I want to be," I said wistfully, gesturing towards th...

Originally posted 2019-02-25 It's easy for me to be hard on the Israelites. I mean, they're kinda like the byword for "awful people who are terrible at serving God basically always" in Christian circles. They worked pretty hard for that status it seems, too. When I peruse the Old Testament stories (as I'm increasingly addicted to doing...

Originally posted 2019-02-22 I've been a list person for as long as I can remember. The bullet journalling wave has been an easy one for me to ride, especially with the pretty letters to lure me in. I love the satisfaction of filled in circles and squares, the affirmation that I did what I set out to do. It feels really, really good. F...

Originally posted 2018-11-15 I've heard that if a teacher makes it to Thanksgiving break, they can make it through the entire school year. 48 hours until my survival is secured. It has been a remarkably positive week, filled with "Ms., can I talk to you about something?", delving deep into books students thought were too hard to read, ...

Originally posted 2018-02-12 I've had a love-hate relationship with my body for as long as I can remember. And it's rarely been about health. It's been more about how my thumb traces a why-so-high number across measuring tape that encircles my waist. More about how I knew I shouldn't have eaten that extra handful of chips (okay, extra ...

Originally posted 2018-01-26 I remember his office. He had a beautiful wooden shelf covering the left wall and a sunken couch with pillows to hide behind. Every visit, he asked me to grade my relationships with my four parents. He was kind and asked the right amount of questions. If I think harder, I can remember even earlier, at the a...

Originally posted 2018-01-18 A question I'm often asked: "Do you have anxiety like every day?" Yes and no. Yes, I have anxiety every day, because, well...I have anxiety. Every day. It doesn't go away, really, any more than asthma goes away day-to-day. There are things that bring it up some days that don't even happen on others. No, it ...

Originally posted 2018-01-12 Last week I shared how I've been feeling like a failure of a writer. This is the conclusion of the three truths I want to be engrained in my mind. 3. Since when is "horrible" the only other option besides "perfect"? I recently had some training where I work, and let's just say I'm not even 10% where I am "s...

Originally posted 2018-01-05 Can I skip the whole start-with-a-great-sentence-thing and just tell you what's on my mind? I feel like I've failed at writing. (sigh) I started this blog, bursting at the seams with ideas and creativity and longing for articulated lessons and ideas to bless others. But now, not even 10 months later, weeks ...

Originally posted 2017-11-10 Weekends are the hardest. Paradoxical, this teaching. Monday to Friday is a blur of preparations, gone before dark, back with the sinking sun, washed dished, and (mostly) dreamless sleep. On Fridays, two of my English scholars have the same prayer request during worship: that the weekend goes by slowly. And...

Originally posted 2017-10-31 I wish everyday ended like today. It’s Week of Prayer, and I’m high on words of affirmation. You see, I’ve been taking some days off to finish my Master’s observations at a nearby high school (it’s a long story…sigh), therefore preventing me from relishing in my classroom as much as I’d like. Today was one ...

Originally posted 2017-07-26 I think MLee and I were mutually pleasantly surprised by how much we have in common; verily, we still are. She's kindly joined me in today's post, bringing much insight, honesty, and MLee-ness. C: Glory of glories, I got a job! A big girl job, too, complete with a salary contract, healthcare, and retirement...

Originally posted 2017-07-18 I watch students for aftercare sometimes. This means I do my best to keep them safe from each other and from themselves until their parents arrive to pick them up. They’re a joy. "Miss Callie! He's stealing from my box again!" The outraged young lad silenced half the room with his accusation. He straightene...

Originally posted 2017-07-13 For the last four years, my education has been online. Taking online college courses has allowed me to accelerate completion, spend months abroad for service, and schedule work without issue. I learn through reading and writing, and that's what online education is. It works remarkably well for me. However, ...

Originally posted 2017-06-15 Someone had the great idea to celebrate being together for a year and a half by doing a strenuous hike. The perpetrator rhymes with rah royfriend. No, no, it was actually a great time. 11.72 miles, 26,000+ steps, 6,000+ calories burned, and way too little water, we are still happily together and super sore ...

Originally posted 2017-06-05 The other day, I slipped from beneath my covers to greet my Lord on my knees. Other thoughts intruded the sacred space, and I couldn’t focus. I said “Dear Heavenly Father” approximately 15 times until I started getting frustrated. Other scenes, words, and troubles crowded my mind. But they weren’t mine. Wha...

Originally posted 2017-05-29 I caught up with a friend over our favorite meal, and we shared the last few months of our lives. Both of us are working, one starting a degree while another finishing, and our families are doing fine. In passing, she mentioned a deep shadow in her experience that was beginning to lift. I asked her the caus...

Originally posted 2017-05-23 I feel the need to just write. This used to be easy to do on my unintentionally hidden, free, Wordpress blog. But now, I feel the need to write a certain way on here: to come to prescribed solutions through templated means. I know who my subscribers are, and what will they think of this? Shouldn't I wait un...

Originally posted 2017-05-22 Teaching is hard. One difficulty is balancing likability and professionalism. True, they are both very possible. But possibility does not equate ease. My school has a no electronics rule. As a teacher, I enforce this rule. One afternoon, I saw a student using a phone and I asked him for it. He said I was be...

Originally posted 2017-05-15 While I was leading a very long mission trip, the Lord seemed to be teaching me about conflict resolution. Everyone was miffed, irritated, or spreading their hurts through passive aggression. As the mission leader, I encouraged everyone to take advantage of Matthew 18 and deal with it squarely. One voluntee...

Originally posted 2017-05-10 By my junior year of high school, I had my life planned. By age 25, I would be a nurse. I would have 2-3 children, homeschool them, and be an amazing pastor’s wife. Years have passed. I’m now neck-deep in graduate school, striving to be an English teacher, and in a serious relationship with a businessman. S...

Originally posted 2017-04-26 Dear 17-and-a-half-year-old Callie, I hope this finds you well (this is how you start all of your letters nowadays). I’m proud of you for making hard decisions to follow Jesus when it’s weird to do so genuinely. Yes, the irony of Christian schooling is mind-boggling. Praise God He has reached through so man...

Originally posted 2017-04-16 It was a very cold night in A2, which is common for Michigan. I was walking in long strides past Angel Hall, trying to get to the van before I was assigned push-ups (it's a long story...). I was about to pass two college students when one spoke: “Are you celebrating [religious holiday] this year?” the girl ...

Originally posted 2017-04-14 Many of you have asked, and I was planning on saving this for later...but... I met this man when I wasn't interested in anything more than traveling the world, running service projects, and teaching English. Our deep friendship blindsided me--but no more than our deepening friendship did. He has shown me oc...

Originally posted 2017-04-10 I fell again last night. And today. "Fell" serving as a euphemism for doing that sin I so hate but apparently don't hate enough. Familiar thoughts invade. Why do I always do this. I hate myself so much. Why am I such a terrible human being. I can't pray. Anxiety makes the vicious cycle worse, but sin hurts ...