Recently I've found myself in conversations with people who were clearly struggling — caught between where they are and where they want to be — and my response surprised me. I wasn't trying to rescue them. I wasn't apologising for the difficulty of it. I wasn't looking for ways to make it easier.
I was just... comfortable with it. Honestly, glad it was there.
That made me stop and think.
As a coach, I've started to see tension differently. Not as a problem to solve, but as a signal. How someone sits with tension — whether they lean into it or try to escape it — tells you a lot about where they are with their own growth. I've been noticing this more and more lately, almost like I'm watching it from a distance. Observing it. Letting it do what it needs to do.
This morning, during my morning pages, it came up again — and it sent me back to a chapter I wrote in my first book. One I come back to more often than almost anything else I've written.
The idea is simple, but it still catches me every time:only mediocre people are always at their best.
Which means if you're feeling that pull — that gap between who you are now and who you're trying to become — that's not a warning sign. That's the work. That's exactly where you're supposed to be.
I'm republishing this chapter today because I needed the reminder. Maybe you do too.
Once you've read it — I'd genuinely love to know: how do you cope with the tensions?
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“It’s not what the vision is, it’s what the vision does.” - Robert Fritz
When it comes to learning and development, you and I see the world differently than most, and I want you to know that just because other people don’t completely understand you, you are not the problem.
This ‘journey’ that you are on is exactly where you need to be.
There’s something uniquely different about you compared to other people, and it’s time to understand what it is so you can fully embrace it.
A while back you made a commitment to a life of learning.
It became a mindset, then a discipline, and then your identity.
You created a vision for a better future for you and the people around you. You said “I want to be the best I can be,” and you created a gap, a tension between your current reality and your vision.
This tension drives you every day to work on becoming a better person and doing your best work. This ‘force’ is an absolute requirement for the pursuit of personal mastery. You will never quite reach your vision — this tension will always be there.
You must get comfortable with it and use it to propel you to your vision — it’s your ally, not your enemy.
However, as with anything under tension, there is more than one way to release it — you can either rise to your vision or lower your vision to your current reality.
It’s the insidious nature of your emotions that will be the reason why you might lower your goal and pull your vision down to your current reality.
This ‘emotional tension’ includes all the reasons why you can’t succeed — the belief that you don’t deserve it, that you aren’t capable.
To succeed, you must cultivate a high tolerance for this ‘emotional tension’.
You must distinguish between the creative force you have created and the self-doubt. They are not the same thing. They conflict with each other — one pulling you to your vision, the other pulling you away.
What will help you to succeed is sustaining a high level of comfort for long-term delayed gratification.
The thing is, you’re never going to be ‘done’.
You will never ‘arrive.’ And so, to succeed and get closer to making your vision your reality, you must get comfortable living and working in this world of creative and emotional tensions pulling upon you.
You have to be comfortable never quite getting there — staying in your current reality while at the same time knowing that your best work and your best years are ahead of you.
The other option doesn’t bear thinking about.
Know this: Only mediocre people are always at their best.
