Dean Clough

May 6, 2024

Portico Darwin: National Old Man Yells at Cloud Day


2 Minute Read

Happy Monday and I hope you had a great weekend.  Sadly, I am going to dive right in and start bitching immediately, after some housekeeping. 

While I am aware of the protests occurring on many university campuses regarding Israel and Gaza and the whole mess, what I have said in two earlier posts still represents my thinking.  The second may have been sheer fantasy, but the analysis available in the first is as grounded and true as ever.  I will repeat that those who blame Israel alone are confused or worse, but otherwise, I have nothing to add to this terrible subject.

On to my bitching, although I hope what follows is more than just that.

I speak often here of what I call The Psycho Woke - people or institutions that wrongly distort classic liberalism and genuinely progressive values to a point where an ever-more-defined identity matters more than anything.  

You know, kind of the opposite of what MLK said.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

I thought of all of this when I saw that May is Asian Pacific American Heritage Month.  But are you aware of all the other special groups acknowledged throughout the year?  I found a Diversity, Equity, and Inclusivity (DEI) consultancy called Seramount that is enlightened enough to maintain a PDF of it all

Believe it or not, there are so many that I can only list the big ones.  

I am not kidding and you can look at the source PDF, which I find an irony-free holiday calendar for Wokistan.

Disclaimer:  If you think I am a bigot for finding all of this silly, you don't know me very well.   

Also:  If this helps the groups honored (itself questionable), what about those not deemed worthy of a day or month of their own? 

  • World Braille Day
  • Martin Luther King Jr. Day

  • Black History Month

  • National Developmental Disabilities Awareness Month 
  • National Irish American Heritage Month 
  • Women's History Month

  • Autism Acceptance Month
  • Celebrate Diversity Month
  • Deaf History Month
  • National Arab American Heritage Month 

  • Asian Pacific American Heritage Month
  • Jewish American Heritage Month
  • Mental Health Awareness Month
  • National Military Appreciation Month 
  • Older Americans Month (Editor's Note:  ABOUT FUCKING TIME)

  • Caribbean American Heritage Month
  • Immigrant Heritage Month
  • Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer Pride Month 

  •  Disability Pride Month 

  • Hungry Ghost Festival
  • Women's Equality Day

  •  Hispanic Heritage Month (observed from September 15 to October 15)
  • Intergenerational Month 

  • Global Diversity Awareness Month
  • LGBTQ+ History Month
  • National Disability Employment Awareness Month
  • Polish American Heritage Month
  • Filipino American History Month 
  • And a special shout-out to October 16, which is International Pronouns Day

  • National Family Caregivers Month
  • National Native American Heritage Month 

  • World AIDS Day

I must ask:  Is there some date where a <fill in the blank> American becomes simply an American?  Or, likewise, when being gay doesn't warrant two months' of attention?  With overdue equality and assimilation comes the boredom and anonymity of no longer standing out in a crowd.

Because otherwise, I demand we observe the historical contributions of cranky retired Caucasian heteronormative cisgender males.  


  • Can we get a day honoring atheists?
  • Truck drivers?
  • Fast food workers?
  • The childless?
  • Why a month for Irish and Polish Americans, but not Italian ones?  
  • And aren't we excluding those in the Scandinavian American community?  

10 Seconds of Seriousness:  While the intent of celebrating those that weren't previously is admirable, the result does nothing now but divide us unnecessarily.  I am confident a focus on equity and justice for everyone would be more productive than elevating some, but not others.

Because our nation's motto is not out of one, many.

In fact, it is the exact opposite.

Have a great week.


While I often tease Hunter Deuce, today, I must tip my cap. 

You see, our beloved SF Giants are covered on the sports website The Athletic by a well-respected local sportswriter named Andrew Baggarly.  He recently published a particularly well-done piece in part about the baseball legend Carl Yastrzemski.  Referring to Yastrzemski's 40 years away from the game and his reticence today to relive past glories, Baggarly observed:

When you are so detached from your former self, it can feel like it wasn’t really you who accomplished all those things.

Yowzah.  Hunter was also impressed and commented on the article - to which Baggarly responded!

Deuce:  Beautifully written, Baggs.  I think a lot of people fail to realize this and ultimately come away disappointed when they speak with someone whose athletic glory is years behind them and in their rearview mirror.

Baggarly:  Thank you for this.  Sometimes I write something and am fearful that it is a reach or it’s maudlin, when my only intention was to express something that might connect with people.

Yowzah again.

Here is a PDF if you'd like to read Andrew Baggarly's article in its entirety.

Thank you for reading this newsletter.  


How about equity and justice every day, for everyone?  That would be quite a world and we wouldn't need labels, or special days and months.

Until then, here is the cool Cinematic Orchestra with their album of the same name.

About Dean Clough