Dean Clough

June 15, 2022

Portico Darwin: The Plane From Fantasy Island


Flag of Ukraine.jpg

This is from my forthcoming children's book entitled Li'l Dean Goes to Washington.  It is set in the very near future.

Dean was just a wee lad when his parents first took him to Washington D.C. for the summer of 2022, yet he was still old enough to be wowed by the splendor.  And as he had been reading for a few years now, he could understand the "Lock Trump Up" signs he saw, all over town.

"But why, Daddy?  Why do they want to lock up former President Trump?"

"Well, son, most of us believe he committed very serious crimes and he should be severely punished.  You were at water polo practice so you missed Monday's hearings.  The Select Committee made a great case Thursday night, and then again to start the week."

"But if all the Democrats think he's guilty, why don't the Republicans?  Isn't there evidence?" asked the increasingly baffled young Dean.

"There's a ton of evidence, Dean - but what do you say we get ready for the zoo!  If you're a good boy, maybe I'll take you out for caviar afterwards!"

Dean's father, while enamored by his son's intellect and political curiosity, wanted to change the subject.  What was the point?  

Because it appeared to Dean's father that the breach in America over Trump could never be mended.

But then a plane from Fantasy Island landed at Andrews Air Force Base, and out stepped these two men, who were immediately whisked away in a bright-white electric-powered Hummer, directly to the US Capitol.


Yes, to the site of the attempted coup by Trump and his allies on January 6, 2021.  

Mr. Roarke and Tattoo immediately met in private at The Capitol with:

  • Mitch McConnell
  • Kevin McCarthy
  • Ted Cruz
  • Jim Jordan
  • Marjorie Taylor Greene
  • Lauren Boebert
  • Marco Rubio
  • Matt Gaetz
  • Josh Hawley
  • And every other single Representative or Senator that enabled the Trump insurrection

What happened at the meeting will never be known.  But what occurred after was really something wonderful for little Dean - and every American - to behold.  That's because, in the summer of 2022, the above Representatives and Senators - to date, staunch Trump advocates all - stood in the Rotunda and announced in a joint statement read by Senator Mitch McConnell to the gasping news media:

"We have seen enough evidence.  We know the damage Trump has done to our nation and is continuing to do.  We hereby repudiate his presidency, and are joining with our Democratic colleagues in asking for the immediate indictment of Donald J. Trump by the U.S. Department of Justice, on criminal counts of Obstructing Congress, Conspiracy to Obstruct Congress, Conspiracy to Commit Seditious Treason, and Wire Fraud." 

Young Dean didn't understand why so many grown adults were weeping and waving little American flags - including his own parents, who had never done either before.

But over time, after Trump was tried, convicted and jailed on all counts, little Dean came to understand the magnitude of that one simple act.  When some leading Republicans admitted and accepted the obvious and put our country over their party, it began to heal America and mend our divisions. 

The two mysterious Latino gentlemen then returned to their plane and went back to Fantasy Island, their work done.   And Li'l Dean?  He went on to write a famous blog, and retired early in Tupper Lake.

And America became America again.


I was listening to a reputable podcast (it was "Freakanomics") and in passing, they mentioned the government of Thailand being involved with establishing Thai restaurants in most cities in the US.  It was part of a "Sportswashing" podcast, where they said that Thailand has the 3rd highest approval rating of Asian nations by Americans, bested only by Japan and South Korea.  And that was attributed (at least mostly) to the ubiquity of Thai food and how Killer it typically is.

So I went directly to the source, Mrs. Crup, although the answer came via Arthur:

I've read claims about the Thai government sponsoring people to open restaurants in the US, sending people over to taste test those restaurants, manage their menus, etc.  So far as I know from the dozen or so Thai people I have met in the restaurant business (including Mrs. Crup!), it is complete bullshit. 

They all came over here independently of any government agency and opened and ran their restaurants as they saw fit.  If there is anything cookie cutter about Thai restaurants in the US (I don't really see that, no two have tasted quite the same to me), it's because people frequently come out here on a work visa for the owner of an existing Thai restaurant, then take what they learned there to open their own.  The food is somewhat different than what you see in Thailand due to American tastes (would you ever order pork blood if it were on the menu?  How about fermented fish stomach?) and availability of ingredients.

I knew I could count on these two for the straight dope.  But, I'll have you know Julie and I just CHOWED on some fermented fish stomach last night for dinner.  It was a little tough, but still good, and it was oh-so-yummy with my morning coffee just now.

Thank you to any one that is reading this newsletter.

Republicans in Congress putting our country ahead of their own power?  Dream on, you say?  Here is Aerosmith with their eponymous, Diamond Certified first album.  And it's here as a true high-resolution FLAC download.  You're so very welcome!


Name a band whose first 4 albums equaled Aerosmith's in quality and staying power:

  • Aerosmith
  • Get Your Wings
  • Rocks 
  • Toys In The Attic

It's not Led Zeppelin (I don't think III is that great in its entirety).  In fact, is there any band out of the gate with FOUR classic albums?   Over the weekend, my Stern Grove/HSB/golf pal Don Jumanji called out Steely Dan as having matched Aerosmith's feat.  Sorry, but no.

About Dean Clough

Plans To Enjoy Life.