Portico Darwin: The Rolling Stones Should Stop Rolling
TODAY'S RAMBLINGS
1 Minute Read
Over the weekend, I read yet another "The Stones Are Back!" puff piece, this time in Culture's Fall Preview 2023 in The New York Times. For your Monday, I give you my response: F'ING ENOUGH ALREADY.
Don't get me wrong - me and The Rolling Stones go way, way back, and I have always been a fan, at times even a big one. This is from 1981's Tattoo You tour, and I have others. And earlier this year, I even wrote a tribute about their ability to reinvent themselves.
But I have now grown tired of the entire schtick: Keith Richard's stoned pirate, Mick Jagger's unnaturally lithe condition (and resulting arrogance), and Ronnie Wood as the friendly boozer from next door. Because this "new" profile in the NYT could easily have been lifted from past years - it's always the same crap:
Mick and Keith love each other, but still fight
Ronnie's just happy to be there
Mick pushed the band toward a deadline
Keith's stoner mumblings about his guitar interplay with Ronnie; this time, he deems it "weaving"
That the album is a return to their blues roots
A new producer has rekindled the old magic
Their tours transcend life itself
And the first song released from their new album Hackney Diamonds (the band's first of original material since 2005's A Bigger Bang), entitled "Angry", is also more of the same. Except without founding member Charlie Watts.
You see, I believe at the root of my angst is the fact they're continuing as The Rolling Stones without Charlie. All situations are different, but there was never a Led Zeppelin after John Bonham, and Rush without Neil Peart is unthinkable. Likewise, fancy The Police without the drumming genius Stewart Copeland? The evidence is obvious in the other direction, too, when one considers how The Who's decisions post-Keith Moon have sadly marred their legacy.
Worse: Keith Richards never fucking shut up about Charlie Watts, his drumming, and the importance of it to their sound. I mean go look it up - Charlie was Keith's guy. Many times I have read interviews with Keith where he flatly declares Charlie Watts as the best drummer in rock and irreplaceable in the band.
Until he wasn't, as evidenced by this quote from the article.
For the Rolling Stones, “Hackney Diamonds” is the beginning of the band’s next phase. “With Charlie leaving us, I think we needed to make a new mark with Steve (Charlie's replacement Steve Jordan),” Richards said. “To reset the band was important.”
Reset the band? Charlie just spit out his vintage Port somewhere in heaven.
Me? Hearing "Angry" was probably enough.
FROM THE UNWASHED MASSES
It was smiles and questionable sunglass picks all around for our niece Nicki Vale and her boytoy Baron Belgium. These star-crossed kids wanted a romantic trip, and what says romance more like Highmark Stadium in Buffalo for a Bills-Raiders NFL game? Thank you for reading this newsletter.
KLUF
Of course, I am not going to dump on The Stones and leave you feeling empty. It's the opposite, as here, on both TIDAL and Spotify, are the best Rolling Stones songs, from the beginning until the end (which I claim was Steel Wheels). Here are the tracks, and I welcome suggestions for improving the content, although there will be no "Angie" - I really don't like that song.
