Let me say something today that will surprise no one: I like being complimented. My raging insecurities demand attention, and often, in case you've somehow forgotten.
So I do enjoy being noticed when out in public. Well, usually, because today I'll share a cautionary tale, one aimed especially at younger readers, of how not to interact with old people like me (and my wife).
Because while I am sure it was all very innocent, wow, did we get pissed.
It was just a couple of months ago, during our Winter week in Downtown Sonoma. We were enjoying a cocktail at the Textbook bar at The Swiss Hotel, and minding our own business.
Some background: I am 60, and my better half is 64. We've each been fortunate to be healthy and relatively attractive for most of our lives, with the normal ups and downs of adolescence and aging. Today, I would say we're both in fairly good shape, and we certainly take pride in our appearances. But I doubt few would say we overdress or are flashy - plus, there's no need in my case: The sheer volume of my voice draws plenty enough attention already.
So there we were, at a classic Wine Country bar, chatting and having a drink. When all of a sudden, a very chirpy 30- or 40-something woman came up behind us, took one look, and exclaimed:
"LOOK AT YOU TWO! How adoooorable! Ooooh! You're out having your drinks, and you both look so NICE! Look at your outfits! You two are sooooooooooo cute!"
If you know me, you probably expect that I made a scene and went off in her face. I did not and do you know why?
It's going to take 10 Seconds of Seriousness: It was the first time anything like that had happened, and I was so taken aback and saddened that I fell mostly silent. I know Julie felt the same.
So instead, we mumbled some thanks, paid our check, and got the hell out of there.
But I use the word saddened above not in the way that you may think. I was not saddened by someone observing I am now older. That's just how it is, and we're doing OK anyway.
No, I was upset to the point of silence because I had never been objectified like that, at least not since I was a child. It makes me think of how women must feel, or really anyone that regularly is on the receiving end of such condescending bullshit. I shudder at having done it myself to others over the years, and I am pretty sure that's not being Psycho Woke.
I recognize the woman was not trying to insult us with her flowery and sunny praise; in fact, I know she thought she was doing the exact opposite.
It was still condescending bullshit.
Because WTF, we're not cute old people quite yet.
Like my grandmother, pictured above in 1981.
FROM THE UNWASHED MASSES
And the newly-minted Whistler family are the real lookers, anyhow. Or so says an anonymous reader, and I agree.
Hello Portico. Thank you for sharing your photos of a picture-perfect weekend in SF.
I recall having a delightful conversation with your neighbor Laura at your birthday party. Congratulations to the gorgeous newlyweds!
One more and now I'll have to feature at least as many photos here from Nicki and Baron's wedding in August if I expect to not get in trouble. Thank you for reading this newsletter.
KLUF
Let's correct a pretty major oversight for a top-drawer imaginary radio station like KLUF: I have not played Beck or any of his recordings to date. So here is his very fine and very appropriate Sea Change.
