Dress codes, etiquette and rules exist for a reason. Why should every institution bend backward to accommodate every silly request or bit of behaviour. Every institution is allowed to have its rules, style and values. Expecting them to accommodate your idiosyncrasies is narcissistic and lazy. 

I don’t own a single pair of trousers. It is a particular point of pride for me. I have one pair of trousers that was tailored for my wedding and I use that for the rare wedding I have to attend. It saves my marriage. 

For a casual lunch or outing, if place has a dress code that needs pants, I just don’t go there. I just find a place that allows me to wear my ‘classier’ shorts. 

Am I a colonial-apologist for saying this? Sure.

But I don’t think the guy in tees and shorts is the embodiment of British-India values. 

I hate school uniforms. I think most of them are butt-ugly. And the homogeneity and conformity it seeks to impose on kids is something I loathe. So I send my daughter to a school that allows her to dress as she likes within the realm of good taste. 

And that’s what it really comes down to: Time, place and good taste. There is a context and setting for all behavior. Not every institution can accommodate our every little whim and preference. 

Case in point: our gym discourages use of salwars and kurtas. We’ve had cases where it snags and turns into a bit of a risk to the user. Shorter Kurtis seem alright. But most people find it more comfortable and convenient to wear a tee and tracks. 

Now let’s argue someone walks in with a veshti and banian. And argues my ancestors farmed for hours like this. Why can’t I do a few squats this way? Let’s say you are picking up a plate off the weight rack and your veshti snags between the vertically stacked plates, does everyone need to see what comes next? And Madras is a sweaty place. You wear a banian, you use a barbell and you leave sweat all over it. Use a glute ham machine or back extension, you hike your veshti up to a point that leaves very little to your fellow users imagination. 

Every place has a certain culture, ethos and sensibility. And that comes from a certain context and expectation of its patrons. If you disagree or don’t like the values. Just don’t go there and give them your money. 

I remember a few years back a Tamilnadu political party picked a fight over membership for a few of their party-people into a rather elite club in Madras. The club refused knowing the boorish behaviour, drunkenness and lack of culture that follows. 

The party shut down their restaurant and refused a couple of permits. The club held firm and worked around the restrictions. But refused to budge. And eventually they got everything back on their terms. 

When every person can amplify their outrage with a few clicks, it helps to ask if this really an issue and can you not go somewhere else? Or build your own thing