Being able say the right thing at the right time when you feel wronged or differ strongly with someone.
It was October 2013. Someone I did not enjoy interacting with who enjoyed passive aggressively yelling at me had been doing that over the phone for 22 minutes. I only knew how long. I did not know the content. Simply because when said person was yapping away, I left the phone on the ledge and continued talking to my friend softly.
Was I disrespectful? Perhaps. But I did not respect the person on the other end. So my action felt appropriate.
But I felt worse about one thing. That person got the pleasure of feeling like they had dressed me down or made some profound point. And that my being a participant or recipient of or in the call, I agreed with the logic, motivation and drivel.
I did not agree. I was being timid. And I was flinching away from confrontation and a fight. I should have stood up for myself. Instead I used humour and pretended that my ignorance was all the defiance that was needed.
I should have told the person that they were making no sense. They were blowing things out of proportion. Their response made no sense. And I was under no obligation to listen to this drivel.
And I’ve said those things to the person in my head every few months for the last decade.
And there are other bullies and interactions that I wish I had displayed more courage, confidence and used my words to greater effect. But I didn’t.
And I have worked on this and overcompensated since. I remember becoming a father gave me a great deal of conviction to say what I had to. Simply because I ask my daughter to fight back with words or actions if necessary if someone wrongs her. So it’s only fair I do the same. I will not let someone insult me or make me feel lowly about myself. And I will make sure my displeasure or disagreement be heard or written. And I need to say it not because of how it makes others feel. Rather, it is about how I will feel about it if did not write or say a thing when I felt so strongly.
So I will opine on gym equipment, gym memberships, training, protein intake, protein supplements, footpaths, clean water, clean air, noise pollution, lack of road sense, language wars, ethanol doping and every other thing that bothers me for one simple reason. If I don’t make myself heard, I will bottle it up and regret not saying what I should have when I needed to. And I am not going to worry about not being an expert. All that matters is that it makes sense and that I made myself heard.
It was October 2013. Someone I did not enjoy interacting with who enjoyed passive aggressively yelling at me had been doing that over the phone for 22 minutes. I only knew how long. I did not know the content. Simply because when said person was yapping away, I left the phone on the ledge and continued talking to my friend softly.
Was I disrespectful? Perhaps. But I did not respect the person on the other end. So my action felt appropriate.
But I felt worse about one thing. That person got the pleasure of feeling like they had dressed me down or made some profound point. And that my being a participant or recipient of or in the call, I agreed with the logic, motivation and drivel.
I did not agree. I was being timid. And I was flinching away from confrontation and a fight. I should have stood up for myself. Instead I used humour and pretended that my ignorance was all the defiance that was needed.
I should have told the person that they were making no sense. They were blowing things out of proportion. Their response made no sense. And I was under no obligation to listen to this drivel.
And I’ve said those things to the person in my head every few months for the last decade.
And there are other bullies and interactions that I wish I had displayed more courage, confidence and used my words to greater effect. But I didn’t.
And I have worked on this and overcompensated since. I remember becoming a father gave me a great deal of conviction to say what I had to. Simply because I ask my daughter to fight back with words or actions if necessary if someone wrongs her. So it’s only fair I do the same. I will not let someone insult me or make me feel lowly about myself. And I will make sure my displeasure or disagreement be heard or written. And I need to say it not because of how it makes others feel. Rather, it is about how I will feel about it if did not write or say a thing when I felt so strongly.
So I will opine on gym equipment, gym memberships, training, protein intake, protein supplements, footpaths, clean water, clean air, noise pollution, lack of road sense, language wars, ethanol doping and every other thing that bothers me for one simple reason. If I don’t make myself heard, I will bottle it up and regret not saying what I should have when I needed to. And I am not going to worry about not being an expert. All that matters is that it makes sense and that I made myself heard.