About three months ago, I came to Hyderabad from Chennai.
I met a friend a few months ago. She wanted to meet me because she wanted a bit of closure. I felt really weird because I do not understand what that exactly means to her. I met her at a Cafe. The conversation was one of the nicest I've had in a long time.
I moved to Hyderabad from Chennai because I wanted to adapt to change. Chennai's, where I had my education and the routine, helped me become thoughtful yet missing fun now and then. For example, I watch my college bus pass by on OMR Road and miss my college life for a few hours. I conveniently force-fit a few relationships, and Hyderabad was a good escape. A few weeks after the move seemed better. Little did I know the new environment was a distraction but not the solution.
I seem to end up finding distractions. I wanted a real solution. I recalled this conversation I had a few months ago. Suppose you have some artistic sense in you or ever drew a minor art. In that case, you will quickly get a sense of resolution if the art turns out how you want to express it (not equivalent to perfecting it). My conversation was precisely a resolution to her. I wanted closure (resolution) from my missed memories or a few fix-needed relationships. I do not want to grow old and tell someone, "Childhood is a golden era... (gasp) regret getting old...". As I grow old, I want to welcome life's terrible responsibility.
There you go. I booked stay and travel tickets over the weekend and bluntly visited Chennai.
- In an Hour, I visited my campus placement officer. I had a conversation about his recent accomplishments in getting students placed.
- I looked around the campus and the areas where I had most of my memories. This time when I left, I recalled the last happy memories I had at the same place.
- I immediately started to meet a colleague who is moving to Amsterdam next month. He's been one of my first team members since I began to professional life. I learned a lot about his newly married life, his personal life, and how he's viewing his career and building his career.
- I gave a call to a peer who I stayed with. I had some excellent memories. I did not have a chance to tell him a proper goodbye. It's just that I disappeared. This time I met him in person and reasoned what came my way. Our bond only became stronger.
- Colleagues who join alongside you for your first job aren't really co-workers. They are friends. I met them at Besant Nager beach to discuss where they are today and how their ambitions to shape. Of course, salaries and careers too.
- I texted one of my college friends in Chennai who's working at an MNC and yet self-sufficiently running Car & Bike rentals. We chatted about personal lives and some of the missing pieces of our lives we never really had a chance to discuss!
- The next day, I spent half of it visiting some of my favorite places - everyday streets, roaming at night, and hangouts. I only realized how much things have changed in a few years. This time I digested the changes that happened and will keep happening.
- I met some of my colleagues in Chennai. This unique gang has so much to learn from. We work daily and rarely get a chance to have non-work water cooler conversations. That evening dinner made the cut.
- Finally, I texted my manager to ask if I could meet him. He's fantastic, and I decided to have my 1:1 at his home and spend some time playing with his kid. After a great conversation about inside-the-building stories, I learned I should bring puzzle games for Samanvith (his kid) next time. He also helped me get on my return bus to Hyderabad.
No minute is wasted.
When I joined University after 12th, I never kept hanging on to thoughts from middle or high school. There was always a sense of excitement over what University had in for me. I missed that sense when I graduated to start my career. This trip precisely closed that loop for me to own an understanding of the resolution.
When we hold on to a lot of things in the past, they form an obstacle to living in the present. You will never control your future if you let your present be controlled by your past. What happened yesterday may not be your responsibility, but how you behave today is.