When I do not know the outcomes of my work (from the outside world), I see results through an optimistic lens. It would be the case for anyone in the first two years of their career. Eventually, as I climbed up to do the work above, my pay grade it's a circus. It's all Optics.

It's been four years. I am proud of where I've come from as an individual contributor. But I am not proud of the work I shipped when I look back. My bar may be too high, but not so much that I need help finding a few things meaningful.  

Do you know what keeps me going? It's that sense of accomplishment. The feeling of accomplishment comes from the heart of a craftsman. The users say it out loud way later in the future.

Anyone can give you a thousand reasons not to be happy. Only people who see a vision of their work will miss the sense of accomplishment. 

There's also a delusion that the environment creates. The environment pays you, rewards you, and powers you to ship work that meets Optics. 

How terrible is that?

Usually, it's not worth fighting the environment. 
It's not worth risking the energy. 
It's not worth risking the appetite. 

I am already on my way, risking a sense of accomplishment. 

Too bad I fail to accept the delusion that the environment creates. 

Is it my fault? Is it worth it?