A long drain of thoughts never let me write down this journal for a few months. To avoid revisiting them, I stopped at it for a long. Yet I chose to write this because it's the only way to unbottle my top of mind.
I recently came across this label called - Quarter Life Crisis. It made me realize it's so common that there's also a label for it. I wonder if I'm at that crossroads.
I will be 26 years old in two months. I want to feel engaged and add value to my career and a potential employer. I increasingly become worried about my parents and their habits. It seems impossible to think that I don't have dependants. Jumping on to a partner commitment feels so close, so scarier than ever before. My confidence in my ability to chase after a career path is shaken.
Meeting friends whose parents passed away due to cancer, holding a relative who's suffering from cancer, and struggling to enjoy life in between. It is now customary to have time to enjoy it without joy.
It's terrible to tell myself — go along the flow. Even when everything seems alright, nerves tremble out of unknown fear. Holding self on to hope feels foolish now and brave then. Taking a break does not help enough—the ability to spend and earn means surviving and not living.
I complete five years at Freshworks. No bit of celebration, and neither am I looking forward. Classmates I knew were people I used to know and not now. Colleagues, I enjoyed working with part-ways. Invisible impact on the work I do. Never has there been a time when I did not know how to make a career decision. There has always been a point of view. Not now. Not today.
I was floating like a balloon on a river flow.
Not growing, not shrinking, Not popping, Not moving, and yet Not stagnant.
At the crossroads, signals constantly change, switching the view from one signal to another, but not taking even one step forward, and vehicles blazing through.
I recently came across this label called - Quarter Life Crisis. It made me realize it's so common that there's also a label for it. I wonder if I'm at that crossroads.
I will be 26 years old in two months. I want to feel engaged and add value to my career and a potential employer. I increasingly become worried about my parents and their habits. It seems impossible to think that I don't have dependants. Jumping on to a partner commitment feels so close, so scarier than ever before. My confidence in my ability to chase after a career path is shaken.
Meeting friends whose parents passed away due to cancer, holding a relative who's suffering from cancer, and struggling to enjoy life in between. It is now customary to have time to enjoy it without joy.
It's terrible to tell myself — go along the flow. Even when everything seems alright, nerves tremble out of unknown fear. Holding self on to hope feels foolish now and brave then. Taking a break does not help enough—the ability to spend and earn means surviving and not living.
I complete five years at Freshworks. No bit of celebration, and neither am I looking forward. Classmates I knew were people I used to know and not now. Colleagues, I enjoyed working with part-ways. Invisible impact on the work I do. Never has there been a time when I did not know how to make a career decision. There has always been a point of view. Not now. Not today.
I was floating like a balloon on a river flow.
Not growing, not shrinking, Not popping, Not moving, and yet Not stagnant.
At the crossroads, signals constantly change, switching the view from one signal to another, but not taking even one step forward, and vehicles blazing through.