I’ve been reflecting on the words from Fr. Richard Rohr that make up the title of this post for some months now.
It’s classic Rohr: Oodles of truth and cause for reflection in just a few words.
I can’t recall the first time I heard him say it, but it’s fair to say it’s stuck with me. And when it came up again in one of his daily meditations last week, I found myself reflecting on it some more.
He expands on the words in his post with this:
We see the things we want to see, the things that confirm our assumptions and our preferred way of looking at the world.
Sadly, many of us don’t want to admit this! Who wants to admit they’re biased? But that’s the truth. We all are.
We would like to think that our views are entirely rational and anyone else who sees things differently from us, well, they’re irrational. Or dumb. Or prejudiced. Or whatever.
Oh for this kind of self-awareness in our debates and discussions with others!
If we can’t acknowledge our biases, we can’t progress. The reason there’s so much yelling and disagreement on social media? Precisely this. We have tools to amplify our voices but we haven’t done the work to recognise our own biases. So it’s all noise. There aren’t enough of us finding pleasure in understanding before we share our views.
The point of saying all this is this: we have to work hard to see new perspectives, to open ourselves up to other world views and ways of seeing.
It’s a choice. Our instinct is to reinforce and stand guard over how we currently see and believe. We have to step away and put ourselves in someone else’s shoes with intentionality. We have to be prepared to listen. Actually listen! And be open to the fact that we might be wrong.
Also, on a practical level, do we always need to be so quick to express our opinion on social media?
I had a great conversation with David Heinemeier Hansson last week. We had a different take on something Apple-related. And, rather than send him a tweet, in public, I sent him an email. And we had a thoughtful back and forth over several emails. We both listened. We both learnt. We both came away more enlightened from the discussion. I changed my mind. It felt healthy.
I know I still have a lot of room for growth in this area. And it’s something I’m determined to keep working on. The world will be an immeasurably better place if we all improve at recognising and acknowledging our own biases.
–Sam