Dean Clough

September 22, 2023

Portico Darwin: Brandon & Joe, Please Go


<3 Minute Read
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I could also call today's post "A Refresher in Gratitude".  Because, in summary:

The San Francisco Giants' Brandon Crawford and The United States' Joe Biden should both retire.  Crawford now, and President Biden should say he's not running in 2024.  While also being very thankful for their absolutely, positively gonzo-great careers.

Nationally, my writing will seem like gibberish.  Who the F is Brandon Crawford?  Even those in SF that don't care about baseball might not know, but here he is.

Crawford has been the full-time shortstop for the team since 2012, was the winner of 4 Gold Gloves at the position since, and most importantly, was instrumental in the Giants' championships in 2012 and 2014.  He's from and grew up in the Bay Area (Pleasanton) and also was a lifelong fan of . . . the Giants.   

He may not make the real baseball Hall of Fame, but he is in every Giants fan's, and holy smokes, he will never pay for a drink or a meal again in this town.  What a career. 

So why not just end it?  He's in the last year of his contract with the team - the only one he's been with in pro sports.  He just incurred another injury this past Wednesday, in a season for him that has revealed the toll baseball takes on even the best.  To be blunt:  he has not played to his own standard this year, defensively or offensively. 

He is 36 years old, has a beautiful family, bags of money, and unlimited options.  Yet he hasn't said whether he'll retire or not.

I get it.  Maybe he tells himself he still has it, but in reality, I think Crawford is truly Textbook, and he didn't want the year-long goodbye thing.  Fine.  But you're hurt now, the team is going nowhere, and your year is over. 

So is your career - it's time to enjoy yourself and be thankful for what you've just experienced.

Papa Joe?  OMG.  I've written about him before, so I'll keep it mercifully short today.  I can sum up President Biden's situation in 4 words:  great and too fucking old.

If Joe Biden were 20 - 30 years younger, he'd be considered one of our better presidents, and I am confident he'd win in a landslide.  I am not kidding, and if you objectively look at what he and his administration have accomplished, you might agree. 

Yes, there was the botched Afghanistan withdrawal, but that's about it.  Inflation?  That's an international problem, and our economy is doing better on all accounts than any other.  So while I am not saying President Biden's record is perfect - it is absolutely not - he's done about as good as one can without a rational opposing party. 


The fact is, I bet his acuity is better than most - at his age.  And it's that last bit.  Someone in their early and even mid-80s is capable of a whole bunch of things, including working in a number of professional capacities.  But holding down what is amongst the hardest jobs out there at that age is not one of them.

And what a career!  Now he should retire, enjoy his remaining years, and appreciate what he's seen and done.  In fact, Papa Joe:  let's get that Presidential Library in Delaware rolling!

But of course, that would present a problem for the Democratic Party, and really, the entire country:  who will run for President?  Against Trump or anyone? 

Like many, I'd vote for Hunter Deuce for President over Trump, but many don't warm to Vice President Kamala Harris.  Why does that matter?  Because it's hard to see how they could go with anyone else without pissing off a whole bunch of women and black people - absolutely key constituencies.  Even with her consent, it will be a rough road.
Me?  Sign me up for an Amy Klobuchar - Gretchen Whitmer ticket.  You pick the roles, but I will guarantee America's first female chief executive. 

If it's Biden vs. Trump?  Biden.  Because are you kidding, and what does it say about you if you won't vote for either?

P.S.  I hope Hunter Biden is convicted and sent to jail if he broke laws.  I feel the same about his father.  But ask yourself:  if there was anything - and I mean f'ing anything - Kevin McCarthy and his crew had dug up connecting Joe to Hunter's alleged illegal activities, wouldn't we have heard about it by now? 

Have a great weekend.


The somewhat football-crazed Nicki Vale has something to say about the popularity of my Colorado Buffaloes.

The news keeps talking about how expensive the tickets have become, prices are higher than the Broncos 😱

I can guess one person's response to that.

Thank you for reading this newsletter.  


And if one retires, there can be tributes.  Like this Killer one.  Jeez, if you've never heard this, I hope you'll give it a go over the weekend.

About Dean Clough

Plans To Enjoy Life.