Dean Clough

March 31, 2021

Portico Darwin: Emotional Intelligence

This is the third installment of an occasional ongoing series where I'll try to pass on knowledge, etc. that I've found useful and helpful.  Here are the first and second in the series.

My decision to move on from my own show at Casa Integration led to me being a big consumer of business-oriented self-help and/or improvement books.  Much of what I now preach to my formal and informal mentees comes from what I read at that time and then later in my days at TEECOM. 

It includes "The First 90 Days" (thank you former biz partner Winston Kozlowski), and the topic of the first in this series of blog posts, "It Doesn't Have to be Crazy at Work."  And of course, I re-read my personal bible, "The Ultimate Secrets of Total Self-Confidence", by Dr. Robert Anthony.  Julie introduced that book to me during the trying early days of Casa Integration, and it literally made the difference in that succeeding.

But the one that had the most impact on me (at least recently) is the Harvard Business Review's compendium "Emotional Intelligence".  This is the one.  This is what pointed me at least partially away from complete self-absorption (this blog notwithstanding) and other negative behaviors at work and elsewhere.   Do I consider myself fully "emotionally intelligent"?  Heck, no, at least not yet.  But definitely trying.

The book is simple, quick, and to the point.  It consists of 10 essays published on the subject in the Harvard Business Review.  While it is of course a business book, I think you'll find that most/all of it can apply personally, too.

To make it easier for you to dive in, I've taken (borrowed?  plagiarized?) some key summaries from the first chapter, and put them on a PDF.   Actually, I did the PDF previously for my consultancy, so I'm borrowing material from myself, which I had previously taken (borrowed?  plagiarized?) from HBR.  The shame.

Is actually being "emotionally intelligent" easy?  No.  In fact, I can hear the howls of laughter from my friends when they get to the part about "self-regulation".  But no matter - I can empathize with your desire to talk smack.

A big thank you to our friend (who we met here, last fall) Dr. Doreen Downs for her kind support of this blog.   I can see that Dr. Downs is an excellent judge of quality when she sees it.  5 Star Doreen, indeed!

And although she's metaphorically hiding behind the bar at the Textbook Abbey Tavern, I have it from reliable sources that one of our oldest and closest friends in SF, retired international beauty queen and now top mom, Aine Cork Shula, "is enjoying" this blog.   She's so cool that she's also a retired nurse!

(I'd link to a beautiful photo I have of Aine from Joshua Tree National Park that I took last July, but I know her hubby, the brilliant intellectual property attorney and crooner Foster Shula Esq. is rightfully a stickler for privacy.  Hopefully there'll be no cease-and-desist orders forthcoming for this unauthorized post of his music - a gem from the '90's, an era his fans call his "early phase".)

But wow - the big, and I mean big feedback from the last blog was from legendary data scientist, homebuilder, and singer/songwriter Primo Harvey, PhD.  Some, my wife included and pictured here with Primo, think he is handsome, smart, fun, charming, and talented.   My opinion?  Serviceable, on a good day.  And I am NOT lowballing him because of his Killer sarcasm of the very rating system I just used to rate Primo.  Here's his feedback (edited for brevity - trust me, you're welcome):

"I have found your rating system very useful and am working to incorporate it in my own life. Allow me to apply it to your singing voice, as heard in the Bonus Concert clip you posted (with an appropriate warning I must note): While the tone of Dean's singing voice impressively approaches a Textbook baritone, the tune he produces could only be described as a disturbingly Chamber of Commerce example of Bogus."
Well done, sir.

The musical genius and fellow geriatric Paul McCartney released an album at the end of 2020 that flew under many people's radar screens.  Not mine - McCartney III is one hell of a fine album.  Great songs, and they are even more impressive when you consider that that's Paul playing every instrument.  I find the album's  masterwork, the 8 minute-plus "Deep Deep Feeling", to be a nice connection to emotional intelligence. 

About Dean Clough

Plans To Enjoy Life.