Dean Clough

February 14, 2024

Portico Darwin: What is Dance Music?


1 Minute Read

Happy Valentine's Day.  Let's dance.

But before anyone asks, no, I do not know who this happy woman is, although this photo was in my parents' ginormous collection of 35mm slides, the best of which I scanned a while back.  Like this one.

Because, look:  I have been to my share of parties.  A shocker, yes, but it's true.  And at some of those parties, and apparently like the one above, the music gets turned up, and people start moving.  In my house, that can mean humans gyrating on top of our furniture and broken lamps.  Perhaps you've experienced the same, or maybe read about it in magazines?

Indeed, we had just such a party in celebration of my 60th birthday in early December; many reading this were there. 

But one thing that stuck in my graying craw from that night was the demand for dance music

Wait - isn't Green Day's insane cover of Tired of Waiting dance music??? 

Apparently not, and thus today's mercifully brief post.

For my 60th party, I built a special playlist, consisting of rock songs that I knew from experience can get people really going wild.  It was cranked early and often that night.  I have shared that story (and the playlist) previously.

Yet the calls kept coming:  We want dance music!  Christ, the situation grew so dire that I even allowed Byron Browne IV to play music.  But he came through and the rest is history.

But it left me pondering an obvious hole at KLUF.  Naturally, that meant research, and then building a playlist combining the few real dance songs I am aware of, with those suggested by experts. 

With the modesty that is my hallmark, I am pleased to introduce on both TIDAL and Spotify, the (hopefully) Killer KLUF:  dancefloor.

Here is a sortable list of its contents. 

So to all of you dancing queens (and kings and whatever) out there:  I am ready for the next party.  I just hope I am not missing anything obvious.  

And I must admit, I don't mind a lot of these songs.  


Thanks to the friends and family that reached out to express sympathy and also anger regarding the Niners loss to the Chiefs in the Super Bowl.  My cousin, the golfing legend Zeb Jones, distilled the situation to its barest essence.  This came in via the modern telegraph.

Tough loss.

Next, Lara Mohair says nay-nay to Tay-Tay's boytoy Travis Kelce, Kansas City's tight end.  Kelce got frustrated during the game and vented by nearly pushing KC's head coach Andy Reid to the ground.

And regarding Sunday and the game, somebody has to say:  Travis Kelce, what a jerk.  Disrespectful of his coach and almost knocked him down - bad sportsmanship and she should leave him before they lose. 

And she was kind enough to validate London Calling.  Remember, she was there, at least for a while.

The thing with London Calling is that if you didn’t experience it, you might think you are exaggerating, but it’s pretty close to how I remember that time, too! 

Thank you for reading this newsletter.  


I am also presenting the real deal.  No album art - just completely balls-to-the-wall party music.  That also happens to be rock music. 

So listen and learn, disco weirdos:  Here, on TIDAL and Spotify, is the Diamond Certified Danceable

Here are the sortable contents of this masterpiece for going ape-shit, by yourself or with friends and family.

Although judging by the look on Elizabeth "Polly" Michaels's face above, it's obvious she wanted dancefloor at this point, not Danceable.  

About Dean Clough