Stephen Simmons

September 22, 2021

We moved

Hey all! We've moved all future Umpire related posts to See you there! Stephen
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July 12, 2021

Can you believe what these people said?

This email was almost going to be about the story of Umpire... how it all started back in 1962, the day we cleaned some fire damaged comic books, and what the blue P in our logo really means. But instead of telling you what we’re all about. I’ll let our Google reviewers do it instead… • Patrick said: “I had a late-night plumbing emerge...
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June 15, 2021

How I saved my dog's life

I bought pet insurance. I should tell you an exciting story of adventure and death-defying acts that border on the impossible, but that's not my way, I like to give it straight and stick to the facts. Alpha, our 8-year-old German Shepherd, instantly started acting funny one evening. Stumbling around barely standing, white marshmallow f...
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June 2, 2021

An invisible army wants to destroy your home

There’s an army waiting to ravage your home right now. Ready to do real damage. To inflict real pain. Without mercy. And you won’t even know it’s happening until it’s too late. I’m talking about mold. This stuff’s nasty. It holds no prisoners. All it needs is some food and a little bit of moisture, and it’s on the warpath. One of its f...
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May 24, 2021

Wet UFOs?

Everyone has different views. I enjoy reading The Flip Side every morning, it's free and gives you differing views on current issues in a fun format. Today's read was about UFOs, Unidentified Flying Objects, you can read it @ this link. Who would have thought UFOs would be an issue? In the water damage industry, we don't have differing...
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May 7, 2021

Added sugars

"Added sugars include sugars that are added during the processing of foods (such as sucrose or dextrose), foods packaged as sweeteners (such as table sugar), sugars from syrups and honey, and sugars from concentrated fruit or vegetable juices. They do not include naturally occurring sugars that are found in milk, fruits, and vegetables...
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April 29, 2021

How to stop your kitchen killing you

There’s no denying it: your kitchen is a death trap. With sharp metallic objects that slice and dice, and blenders that whizz around really fast, it’s a wonder you’ve got any fingers left. Then, if you’re not careful with your sink, that thing’ll overflow in the blink of an eye, making the floor nice and slippy for your next big tumble...
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April 21, 2021

It really is free advice

I admire how HEY protects their email customers for free. They can afford to do this because they charge for their main service, email. Umpire makes a living by providing water, fire, and mold removal to homes and businesses. Doing that lets us offer free advice over the phone (or by email) when you just have questions and don't need s...
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April 14, 2021

How to make loyalty

Demand loyalty? I used to work for a franchise where it was mandatory to attend their conventions. The franchisor made it mandatory because franchisees stopped attending. They stopped attending because the conventions were mediocre, did not provide value to the franchisee. A franchisor is unique in that it can force its customers, the ...
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April 7, 2021

Could you dodge four baseballs at once?

If I threw four baseballs at you right now, how many do you think you could dodge? Two? Maybe three? You’ve got no chance of dodging all four though. Now imagine those balls were big fat splodges of rain, powering down towards you from the sky at 100mph. You’re going to get wet, right? This kind of howling rain doesn’t fall very often,...
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March 31, 2021

Let's make less clutter

I try to promote Umpire on as many channels as we can. Multiple emails, newsletters, videos, social media, and more. But it's a crowded digital world and getting noisier by the minute. It feels like everyone is bombarding people. I am not going to add to that any more than is relevant, we need to promote ourselves to grow, but we don't...
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