Talia Levy

i write about relationships, self-help, & other random reflections i have. new posts every sunday.
Pinned post from March 28, 2023

i talked to myself for a year

In my last relationship, I often wondered with frustration at how a person could have so little to say. So little to contribute to conversation. In that relationship, the boy never really brought up new topics to talk about. He never really elaborated on any point or idea. He also showed little interest in what I had to say, failing to...
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November 22, 2023

stop reciprocating compliments

Reciprocating compliments seems like the nice thing to do. And while it’s usually done with positive intent, it's sometimes much better to avoid. We naturally want to reciprocate compliments, just as we do gifts and smiles. We’re psychologically inclined to do so. But the problem with reciprocating compliments is that it can sound fake...
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November 13, 2023

a phrase that brings me peace

“If it’s important, it’ll come back.” I say this sentence to myself all the time, and it brings me a lot of peace. This mindset is beneficial in situations where something didn’t happen in the moment you thought it would, causing you to dwell on it. A common example of this is when we forget what we were going to say. Often, we get stu...
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November 13, 2023

finding someone better

“Don’t worry about losing him, you’ll find someone better.” Sound familiar? Our friends often tell us not to dwell on a break up because there’s “someone better” out there. This mindset can definitely have negative effects, but I think if used in the right situations, it can be positive. It can put you in a state of abundance, as oppos...
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September 2, 2023

saying thank you & i'm sorry

I try to be specific in my “thank you’s” and “I’m sorry’s” as much as possible. Doing so, makes the other person feel important and paid attention to, and my words become more powerful. An “I’m sorry” or a “thank you” can be genuine, yes. But it can also sound very generic. It sounds more easily faked and as if less thought were put in...
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August 23, 2023

before you ask me to change

Being asked to change and preferences building in a relationship can be stressful. I’m talking about things like “I prefer that you text me within this amount of time,” or “I prefer that you don’t talk to this person.” While it may sometimes make sense to voice these preferences to a partner, many times, it’s unnecessary and does more ...
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July 27, 2023

being disciplined

These mindsets I learned have helped me become more disciplined. The first is that when choosing whether to take the route of discipline or not, know that there are negative consequences to both options. But only one option will get you to where you want to go. Let’s say this is about waking up early. If you choose to do so and be disc...
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June 16, 2023

when energy isn't reciprocated

I discovered that I was giving people a lot of undeserved energy, because of a past relationship. I was thinking of the questions and starting conversation the most, and I realized I needed to look past seeing myself as a “good conversationalist” and understand the potential problems with continuing unbalanced relationships in this way...
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June 5, 2023

don't text me back right away

I like when people don’t text me back quickly. If I start texting someone new and they reply to me right away, I begin to wonder what they’re doing with their life. Sometimes we’re on our phones, not doing anything, and can respond quickly. But when this is a pattern and you’re replying back in seconds, constantly, I will ask myself wh...
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May 28, 2023

my biggest influences

I have some amazing family members in my life who I learn so much from. They have countless wonderful traits that I admire; these are some of the ones I wanted to highlight. I’ll start with my mom’s confidence. It’s unwavering. She’s never afraid to act herself and be outgoing. My mom always tells us that we have the coolest mom ever, ...
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May 10, 2023

i analyze our conversations

I like when people know I analyze our conversations. I like when people know I’m paying attention to how many questions they ask, how often they initiate new topics, and how well they listen. I analyze a lot when I’m talking to people, and I find it important that others know, because awareness is key in conversation. I’ve become so aw...
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May 9, 2023

feeling not good enough for your partner

A lot of people don’t feel good enough for their partners. They think the other person in the relationship is too good for them. And at the end of a relationship, finding “someone better” has become such a normal way for us to think, but I think describing people in this way does more harm than good. Because what does “better” mean? Wh...
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April 28, 2023

being at peace with yourself

Peace is the most important thing you could have in your life. It beats any level of money or success a person might attain. Many people think those things are most important or what will make a person happy, but I think someone’s peace is what surpasses all. You could have a lot of money or success and still not have peace. And not fe...
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April 21, 2023

you already forgot how they hurt you

It’s very easy to forget how someone hurt you. It’s easy to forget what you didn’t appreciate about a situation or relationship and fall back into those same situations or patterns. I had come out of a relationship that had stressed me out and made me unhappy, and I now understand what saved me from forgetting that hurt and falling bac...
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April 19, 2023

what i notice constantly and now you will too

When I learned to notice negativity, it started showing up everywhere. People speak negatively all the time, and when I became more aware of my own negative speech, I noticed other people’s 100x more. I started thinking more about the topic of negativity from reading books like Think Like a Monk and How to Win Friends and Influence Peo...
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April 18, 2023

why i don't wear makeup

Makeup is a beautiful art, and some people are extremely talented at and have a healthy relationship with it. While I have my reasons for not wearing makeup, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with doing so, and I support a person’s decision to. One reason I choose not to wear makeup is because I don’t like how closely tied it is to fanc...
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April 17, 2023

they're not smarter than you

One of the weirdest questions I’ve been asked before is “are you smart?” I never know how to answer. In school, people have generally considered me to be smart. I know I do well in school grades-wise, but I know so many people, ones my age included, who know a lot more than I do, in a ton of areas. So, I never knew how to answer the qu...
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April 17, 2023

the only person who's waiting on you

It’s stressful when someone’s waiting on you. Knowing someone’s anticipating your response can feel incredibly pressuring. In a previous relationship, I felt that stress often. The boy wanted quick replies—usually within ten minutes—and that put pressure on me as it came to my time. We’re all doing our own things during the day. If I d...
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March 28, 2023

you are not your parents

How we’re raised has a huge impact on who we are today. It has a huge impact on our thoughts and on how we act. The ways our parents taught us to treat others, lessons they’ve instilled in us as important, fears and habits passed down—all influence how we live our everyday lives. Some of us might see that as a good thing. We might thin...
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